A Letter to Soap

Dear Lever,

For a long time now -- 12 years, in fact -- you've been washing all my 2000 parts. At first, you left my skin kind of dry, but I didn't mind so much because I had some extreme OCD tendencies at the time. In the fairly recent past, you began adding aloe to your formula, which was nice because the drying lessened and was perhaps even non-existent.

When you added a cucumber line, I thought that would be it. I thought you had perfected soap as we know it, and I was proud that we had such a long history together.

I have to tell you, though, Lever, for the first time in 12 years, I found something that may replace you: Olay Body Quench Body Bar. It's not drying at all, and it reminds me of my youth. Remember those little oily bath beads that dissolved in the water while you played in the tub? Olay Body Quench smells like those.

I'm sorry that I may end this long, symbiotic relationship with you, but there it is. If you could lessen the drying and bring back childhood memories, I might reconsider.


Yours very lovingly,
Sara


Thing I'm thankful for: A clean shower. Thanks, dad, for cleaning my old shower before I came home!