Patterns and Thieves

Here are a few certainties in life:

• If you go on a plane trip with me, you will be rushing to the airport. My track record for being on time for air travel is about 13%.
• If you date me, you will get engaged to the very next person you date. Your chances of making it to the altar are about 90%.
• If you leave your stuff in my car or in my apartment, it might get stolen. Especially if it's in my car.

Let's talk about that last point in more detail. I've been the victim of theft four times, and three of those times have happened since 2012. I thought I might make it to the end of 2014 without a hitch, but last night, some jerk broke my streak. And here's what:

I used to feel a little bad for thieves. I thought they at least deserved my pity. What, for example, drove them to such dire acts? Certainly life must be pretty bad for them, if they felt that the best solution to their problems was to steal and worse, damage someone's personal property. Now, though, I have no sympathy. No sympathy. It's such a hassle to replace stolen things and broken doors and windshields. It's a hassle to clean up blood and bits of glass. It's a hassle to spend hours on the phone with insurance claims agents and adjusters. It's a hassle to have a family vacation temporarily ruined. It's also scary and traumatic.

Here's an open letter to thieves:

Dear thieves,

QUIT STEALING FROM ME!

Sincerely,

Sara

Thing I'm thankful for: that more wasn't stolen.