Accents and Impersonations

Every day at the main UT library, someone talks into the loudspeaker and says something like this:  "Attention, library users:  Thefts in the library can happen at any time.  Please do not leave your belongings unattended for even a moment." Usually a man says it, and it's hilarious because his voice sounds  like a really slow- and low-talking Fez.  I wish everyone could hear it as often as I get to.

This brings me to impersonations.  Every time that voice booms loudly through the cold, white halls of the library basement where I work, I want to repeat it exactly as it sounds.  I get the deep urge to imitate the slight lisp and masculine tones out loud.  I never do, though.  Sometimes I lip-sync to it or whisper it under my breath, but I catch myself before it's an embarrassment.

Here's the thing:  I love to impersonate accents and interesting ways of talking.  I have a friend from New Zealand who has an incredible accent, and lately, I've been repeating words in my mind in his voice.  For example, sometimes when I think of my name, I say, "Sirah Sno."  Or I might say, "whativvah" for "whatever."  It really needs to stop soon, or he'll think I'm making fun of him, as the English girl in my sister's college ceramics class thought.  Really, though, it's a compliment!  I wish my voice sounded more interesting!  I would say words like "fo-word" for "forward," as my friend Aubrey does.  Or I would say "COMf-turble" for "comfortable," as Lauren does.  I might want to enunciate everything perfectly, like Brittini, or say my S's like a snake, the way Carrie von Bose does.

I just like to watch the way people make sounds with their lips and teeth and throat.  It fascinates me to no end that some people mostly just move their jaw when they talk, and yet some people use every part of their lips.  I find myself being mesmerized by things such as this on a regular basis.

Here's another thing:  The people I impersonate don't know whether to be offended or pleased, and the people I don't impersonate often want to know why I don't impersonate them.  What can I say?  Some people are easier to impersonate than others, but rest assured, I pay attention to nearly everyone.  (Even you, person-I-don't-mimic.)

Just for fun, here are some famous people (and movie scenes/interviews) I pay attention to because of the way they talk, not the way they look:

• Gwyneth Paltrow, Proof
• Jude Law, Gattaca
• Hugh Grant, Four Weddings and a Funeral
• Drew Barrymore, Ever After
• Keira Knightley, Bend It Like Beckham interview
• Franka Potente, Run Lola Run
• Jennifer Coolidge, Best in Show
• Alicia Silverstone, Clueless
• Anna Chlumsky and Macaulay Culkin, My Girl

Thing I'm thankful for: warm cookies