In the Wee, Small Hours of the Morning, or Free Associations about Texas

I fell asleep at ten something tonight.
I woke up at 1:30.

Right now, someone in the apartment below me is vacuuming, (It just took me three tries to spell "vacuuming" right.) and because I am also a night owl, I appreciate the late-night productivity.

Today was a good day. I had four good conversations at church, including one with the second counselor of the bishopric, and went to choir practice. I had more good conversations with various members of my family and a few good friends from Atlanta. I enjoyed the scenery on my drive through Austin this morning, when I was on my way back from my parents' house.

I will tell you what I've told so many of my family today: I am not what I would describe as "happy" here in Texas. It's been a hard, hard change. It's been hard to get to know people and hard to let my personality out. School is more time-consuming than I ever imagined, and navigating Texas frontage roads is extremely frustrating.

But. Texas is my New York. If I can make it here, I'll make it anywhere. I needed a change from Atlanta. In Atlanta, I was comfortable; I loved my life and my friends there. I believe, though, that the purpose of this life is to grow, to be challenged, and to learn to make difficult decisions. How could I do that, if I was always comfortable? For the first time in my life, I want to explore. I want to see new places and try new things. I want to be so familiar with the different regions of the country, that I can say things like this to people: "When I lived in [insert state here], I thought the weather was horrible, but I loved eating at [insert restaurant name here]."

I don't know if Texas is the best place for me, but it is a better place for me than Atlanta had become. It changed my way of thinking dramatically, and I'll probably always remember it as a pivotal, life-changing place. (I'll start referring to my life in reference to this time; for example, "Before Texas, I thought . . ." Or "In 2 A.T., I graduated from school, and . . .")

So . . . I wouldn't say I'm "happy," but I'm content with the direction that my life is in. I'm glad I'm changing and progressing and learning a new perspective. I have yet to discover whether Texas is my Promised Land, but it is definitely at least somewhere along the way.


Thing I'm thankful for: cell phones and Skype and GPSs