Saturday, April 15, 2006

The Dumbest Movie I've Ever Seen in My Life

How Peter Jackson could go from making one of the best movies ever -- "Lord of the Rings" -- to one of the worst -- no, make that THE worst movie ever is totally beyond me. Yes, that's right; I'm speaking of his "King Kong" remake.

You sawasnow.blogspot readers should know by now how much I love movies. You also probably know that not only do I like the popular movies, but I love the unfamiliar, weird, and inventive movies, too. So there's hardly ever a time when I absolutely can't finish a movie. Also, I've only fallen asleep during maybe 3 movies in the whole of my existence on this earth. Well, I didn't fall asleep during "King Kong," but I definitely dozed off, thought about other things, and politely left the room to talk on my phone for a few minutes. This movie was so bad, I hated it. Yeah, that's right. I said it: hate. This takes my feelings for those "5 Movies You Should Never See" to a whole new level.

What makes "King Kong" so unbearable? The dialogue is completely cheesy and unmeaningful, despite the fact that one of the characters tries to philosophize on the deeper layers of Joseph Conrad's novella Heart of Darkness. Jackson tries to fit too much in -- dinosaurs, a gorilla, creepy insects, bats. My friends and I joked about how he was missing aliens, Jaws, etc, etc. He also couldn't make up his mind about what he wanted the movie to be. It seems like he just thought, "Hm. I want to make a movie, and I want it to be an action/adventure, a love story, a drama, a comedy, a science fiction, a fairy tale, and an epic." The epic part implies length, of course, and this movie had plenty of it. It was 3 hours and 7 minutes long! Normally, I'm a huge fan of long movies, but this was terrible!

Alright, alright -- I'll stop now. Just understand how much I hate this movie and that if you see this movie and feel like you've wasted over 3 hours of your life, don't say I didn't warn you . . .

Now, in fairness, I should say one important thing: the cinematography of about the first 15 minutes was good, as was one frame at the very end, when King Kong is on top of the Empire State Building. But all in all, do you really want to see a movie for 15 minutes of good cinematography?

The only thing that makes a bad movie less bad is if you watch it with friends. I felt like I threw away 3 hours of my life, but at least I know some other people did, too. I was telling my friend Liz that that's better than wasting time by yourself . . . If you alone get sucked into a Saturday TV movie, you can feel as crappy as you want. But if you're with friends, the load is lightened a little bit!

Perhaps you won't/don't agree with my assessment of this movie. To give you an idea of the kinds of movies I like, see "My Favorite Movies." Then you can either take my advice and not watch "King Kong," or you can leave it and get mad at yourself for watching it.

Thing I'm thankful for: spending time with friends on the weekend. It's really something I never used to do much of, and I've decided I like it. :)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is a very good review of this movie. I couldn't agree with you more! It's probably not a good sign when the viewers are relieved when the movie is over. My favorite part of the movie is how we didn't have to watch how they brought Kong back to the states.

3:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You forgot "Baby Boom" on your favorite movies list. What movie emulates mom's shoulder-pad-wearing working days any more than this one? And of course now you can add "The Baxter."

8:57 PM  
Blogger Lauren said...

No. I watched the worst movie ever made last night. "History of Violence." Yeah, I should have known by the title. I mean, I was expecting gore which I can handle. But it was sick in more ways than just being gory. I feel guilty for even finishing it. But it would have haunted me more if I hadn't finished it. Then I'd be wondering about how it ended.

Sick, I tell you.

6:53 PM  

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