Monday, August 27, 2012

Let's Make a Deal

I was talking to a friend the other day about what I'll call "The Hierarchy of Possible Jobs I Want My Future Husband to Have."  It started with a simple discussion about dentists.  See, I'm a bit insecure about my teeth.  They have been a source of pain, embarrassment, and financial stress for most of my life and some of my parents' lives.  (Sure, a lot of my teeth problems could have been avoided if I'd had better dental hygiene, but a lot of them were the unlucky result of being born into a family of mostly English ancestry.  More on that later.)  Consequently, I don't want to marry a dentist.  The idea makes me cringe.  Not only do I have way-less-than-pleasant associations with dentists, orthodontists, and maxillofacial surgeons, I also have a world of insecurity surrounding the aesthetics of my teeth.  In addition to my own issues, I have the notion that a dentist probably wouldn't be attracted to me or my teeth, either.

After explaining all of this to my friend, she asked, "Who would you want to marry?"  I gave it an in-depth, 60-second thought, and came up with the following hierarchy:*
  1. Ph.D.**
    The degree could be in anything, really, though I'd prefer something in the sciences.  Maybe something like this:
    a. Biology
    b. Computer science
    c. Engineering
    d. Psychology
    e. Education
    f. English literature
    g. Art history***
  2. Computer programmer
  3. Researcher
    I don't know what kind, but again, something in the sciences.  Sure, this could be considered the same thing as a Ph.D., but I'm talking Ph.D. minus the teaching component.
  4. Writer
  5. Chef
  6. Professional counselor
  7. M.D.
    a. Anesthesiologist
    b. Family practice
  8. Graphic artist
  9. Sound engineer
  10. . . .
  11. . . .
  12. . . .
  13. Etc, etc.
  14. Dentist
  15. Lawyer
  16. MBA
  17. Marketer
  18. Salesman

*This is a very serious list and one I don't intend on changing at all.  Ever.  It's set in stone, and if anyone from the bottom of the list ever loved me, I'd tell them to move on 'cause I'm not budging in the slightest.  A perfect woman deserves a perfect man, right?  Why should I settle for anything less than my fair share?  I just want what I have coming to me.

**Blame it on my pops.  He's a professor, so I grew up in university towns my whole life.  I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have a big university library nearby!

***Just imagine the conversation!  How wonderful!


Thing I'm thankful for: late summer fruit.  I'm lookin' at you, plums.

5 Comments:

Blogger cardlady said...

Quite a list there honey! I wanted someone very educated, and that is what I got! At least, he wanted to continue his education, and was very good in the classroom!
Stick to your guns!

4:35 AM  
Blogger Saule Cogneur said...

Remember we have an art history Ph.D. out here in NP? I would love to set you up with him next time you come to visit.

8:49 AM  
Blogger Carrie said...

i love your list! so different than what would have been my own but still very awesome! i wanted someone with at least some sort of a masters or extra schooling although it didn't have to be a phd and i knew i didn't want to marry a doctor* and i knew i i didn't want to be poor. but some things are more important to me than others and my only requirement ended up being "he has to have a profession where he can earn us plenty of money"

*when chris and i got serious, he actually decided he wanted to be a doctor (psychiatrist actually) and i still married him anyways because i felt like it was right. and i still remember that blessed day when he came home from school to tell me he felt strongly about changing from that to getting an mba and starting a company. thank goodness for that and we lived happily ever after.

ps- it is literally impossible for me to not be longwinded. sorry.

10:45 AM  
Blogger Lyndel said...

i love numbers 10,11, and 12. And even more so that you put together this list. LOVE it. Love you Ms. Snow!!!

6:55 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

Oh, Lyndel . . . How I miss you!

6:57 PM  

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