What Big Girls Can Do to Get a Tall Man
Hm. You might want to ask yourself why big girls don't already get tall guys. I have NO clue. All I know is that tall guys date petite girls, usually. Very rarely do I see a tall man with a tall woman. (And that's what I mean by "big," by the way -- tall with large bones.) I wrote a post about this before, and one of the tall guys disagreed with me (Ezra). I will tell you now, though, that his wife is petite, but I think she has him tricked because she wears high, high heels most of the time . . .
ANYWAY, it is true. I'm not the only tall girl who notices it. Well, I told my mom about it tonight, and she said I need to just make a t-shirt with the following slogan on it:
"You want big ballplayer kids? Marry me."
Pretty funny, huh? Of course, if my mom was a scientist, she would be an evolutionist, and she doesn't understand that evolutionary theory is just one way to view the situation. If she is right, though -- if guys want to secure an athletic posterity -- why are tall guys dating girls well below their shoulders? Surely it can't be comfortable to kiss that way. Surely the guy can't as comfortably put his arm around her waist. I just don't get it. Does anyone out there have any answers?
Thing I'm thankful for: speaking in New York accents with Heather.
posted by Sara @ 8:59 PM
14 Comments:
Mom's an evolutionist - that's great. Survival of the biggest!
A lot of us under-six-foot guys resent the female obsession with height. We resent that the petite women want taller men, that the taller men want the petite women, and that the taller women won't date us because they're mooning over taller men who won't date THEM. It wouldn't bother *us* if it didn't consume women so... ;-) I guess we just have to accept it.
I've also read studies indicating that children inherit most of their "intelligence" from their mothers. So all those poor men marrying bimbos are just ensuring that their offspring will be morons. Let the men you meet know this: it behooves them to marry intelligent women! Tell them to do it for the good of humanity!
Hey, don't get me wrong. I understand the plight of the short guys. It's very much like that of the tall girl's. But let me just tell you why tall girls have an "obsession" with height -- we want to feel small and soft and feminine, too! It's not an easy thing to feel super feminine if your date is shorter than you. And that's a complex that sticks around for a long time, so there would always be a self-esteem issue going on. I guess some women can do it; I can't.
All I guess I can really say is thanks to the average Joe. He seems to like tall girls. So we may end up being the same height as our guys, tall girls, but at least we're not a head taller. Maybe?
The desire to feel powerful, dominant and masculine is probably tied into taller men's preference for petite girls. They're probably compensating for their own insecurities as well. Remind yourself of that the next time a tall guy doesn't appreciate you!
Truth to tell, I gave up on this issue months ago. I do feel obligated to continue speaking out on behalf of my height-challenged brethren though. We may have been denied the right to unionize, but we still have freedom of speech on our side!
Guilty as charged. I'm 6'3" 205 lbs. My wife is 5'4" 58 kilos. First of all she is very average as far as height goes, but a very extraordinary person.
Second of all being "tall" isn't all it's cracked up to be. Here's why you sub-6 people should be happy with your current elevation: You can sleep comfortably on a plane, You can sleep comfortably in a car, less back problems, usually more coordinated, You're not always asked "Hey big guy, can you reach that for me?", when you fall it doesn't hurt nearly as bad, You're not always worried about where you sit in a movie theater so people can see among others. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with my height (as you should be), it's got it's benefits too.
If you think I married a "short" or "petit" woman because of my desire to feel powerful, dominant, and masculine, you're wrong, wrong, and right on the money. Powerful: I've actually become somewhat of a softy since being married; Dominant: ask anyone, she wears the pants; and Masculine: You're dang right!! Tall, short, skinny, fat, she's a woman, that's kind of what us guys do, marry 'em.
My bad for not waiting around for the .7% of women over 5'10".
Whoa, whoa, big guy. :)
Point well taken. (That's another benefit of being tall -- I think people listen to you more. At least, they pay attention to what you say.)
Now that I'm thinking about this a little more, I feel bad because what I posted may seem like one should ignore the soul of a person -- or at least consider it secondary -- to height. Which is definitely not what I was saying.
I suppose what I am saying, though, is that it's not easy being a tall girl in the dating world. Granted, it's probably not easy for a short girl in the everyday world. And do we all want to be average anyway? Probably not. No one has it easy.
I was complaining. And actually, wondering is more like it. If I take out all of the, "Hey, where's my tall guy?" sentiment, there's still a fascination I have with this phenomenon. But in order for anyone to have "answers" would imply that it is, in fact, a phenomenon. And it might not be. I think it is in my life, though.
Anyway, sorry for the long comment, but I felt that an explanation or some sort of apologetic reply was in order to Ezra. I mean, he's a big guy, and I don't want to make him mad. :)
Sara, no apology needed. My comment was actually directed to Ian's comment. But if you two keep it up, I will crush you both!
And MY comments were meant largely to A) reassure Sara, who seemed annoyed that these taller men (who can make her "feel small, soft, and feminine") seem reluctant to date taller women, and B) to speak out in defense of my brothers. The powerful/dominant/masculine comment was an analogue to her own.
Like Jack of the storybooks, I dare to risk the giant's wrath! I think her original point is valid. It's a well-documented phenonemon: tall men + petite women. I've even read sociological/psychological/pseudo-scientific evolutionary studies about it. The most common explanation I've heard is that the girl is attracted to the tall guy because he reminds her of her childhood relationship with her father (Oedipal!); the guy is supposedly attracted to the girl because her size helps him feel more confident in his role as the protector/provider and helps him feel like she will be more manageable. It's something worth exploring, in any event! Explore on, Sara!
The Oedipus complex refers to a son's desire for the exclusive love of his mother...
I read on wikipedia that they are calling the phenomenon for a girl and her father the Electra complex... but wikipedia isn't my favorite source, so don't quote me on that!
~Jennifer
PS. At any rate, it was understood - I was just wondering and looked it up, so I thought I would share.
THANK you. I blanked on the new term because I'd just been discussing the Oedipus story with a friend.
For a while the term "Oedipal complex" was a catch-all in popular culture for that sort of incestuous desire and the projection of it onto others (I think the books I read that used it that way were from the 1960's...). The term "Elektra complex" has been gaining support though, and I think it works.
THANK you. I blanked on the new term because I'd just been discussing the Oedipus story with a friend.
For a while the term "Oedipal complex" was a catch-all in popular culture for that sort of incestuous desire and the projection of it onto others (I think the books I read that used it that way were from the 1960's...). The term "Elektra complex" has been gaining support though, and I think it works.
What the...? Dang double posts.
I used to think that I needed a tall guy to feel feminine. My dad is tall(6'5") my older brother is tall (6'6") and my younger brother who is only 14 is already 6'2" so I was raised to believe that a man must be at least 6' to be a MAN. Anyway, I quickly figured that it isn't the height that makes a man masculine. So in that case it isn't the height that make the woman feminine. I dated really tall men and average men. I have really always felt feminine. My husband is 5'10" and I am 5'8" and I still wear heels.
In conclusion... I don't have any answers!!
I'm short so all men have been taller than me. Sorry I can't help, but I also notice the tall with the short.
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