My Greatest Fear, or Why I Post On Social Media

In nearly every intro to psychology class in America, students learn about Kitty Genovese. Early on a Winter day in 1964 in Queens, New York, she was raped and stabbed outside of her apartment building. Despite her screams, no one came to her aid. She was 28 years old.

There have been questions as to the particulars of the case—how many witnesses there actually were, how many neighbors heard her screams, etc.—but what is unquestionable are the dozens of academic studies that have been conducted as a result of this violent murder. They all point to the bystander effect. The bystander effect is the theory that individuals are less likely to offer help to a victim when there are other people around. The theory was first demonstrated by social psychologists John M. Darley and Bibb Latane. It is one of the strongest and most replicable theories in the field. There are various variables that factor into a bystander's action or inaction, such as culture or environmental familiarity, but Darley and Latane identified three dependencies:

1. Whether or not the bystander feels the person in need is deserving of help.
2. The competence of the bystander.
3. The relationship between the bystander and the victim. (Wikipedia: Bystander Effect)

I'm not expert enough to know whether the bystander effect is a phenomenon born of natural tendencies or socialized behavior, but if I had to guess, I'd say it leans heavily on the socialized side. Although this is disappointing, it's also motivating. In other words, if we're taught to keep to ourselves and look inward, we must also have the ability to learn a different way—to pay attention to others and look outward. We can learn to lift our heads up, study the faces around us, and focus on lives other than our own.

My greatest fear used to be getting lost, particularly in a foreign country. I was scared to travel alone. Through a few solo trips within the United States and abroad, I forced myself to overcome my fear. A new (or hidden) fear surfaced: being a bystander. I often think about the wicked moments in modern history—The Mountain Meadows Massacre, The Osage Murders, Hitler's rise to power, The Jim Crow South—and wondered whether I'd be a bystander if I had lived during those times. I desperately hope not.

Although some people may not understand it, I think one way to avoid the bystander effect is to proclaim truth. For me, that means I have to share what I believe to be true. I have to let people know where I stand by signaling what I think is right and what I think is wrong. And so I post to social media.  I use my right to speak freely by saying things people may not like. My hope is that others know who I am and what I stand for, that they can stand up for something, too, and that if a troubled friend ever needs a safe haven, he or she can reach out to me for help and support.

I don't ever want to be a person who looks away from atrocity and ignores victims. I'm sure I've fallen short before and will perhaps fall short again, but standing up and speaking out is one way I try to avoid the bystander effect. It's one way I keep from getting psychologically lazy.

I know the following statements might fall on deaf ears, lead to eye-rolling, or cause resentment, but here are some beliefs I think are important to share right now:

• I believe in God.
• I believe in Christ and in His Atonement.
• I believe in being gentle, humble, and teachable.
• I believe in a government that serves its people.
• I believe in a government that is represented by the people it serves.
• I believe in a governmental structure that is separate but equal.
• I believe in peaceful reconciliation.
• I believe in a free press.
• I believe that President Trump is neither a man of God nor a man who believes in repentance.
• I believe that Elon Musk is falsely representing the American people.
• I believe that America is in constitutional crisis, as the people of the Executive Branch insist they have sole power to interpret the law, cherry-pick the laws they will follow, and impeach judges and representatives they disagree with.
• I believe God will help us if we pray, serve others, pay attention, and avoid neutrality.

Thing I'm thankful for: the ability to read