Love Languages

I've written about my love languages before (See My Love Languages.), so I'm not going to drone on about what I need to feel loved. I do think, though, that the love languages are worth re-visiting, especially since I saw something about them today on Facebook.

In case you're not familiar with the Five Love Languages, I'll give you a quick run-down: They come from a book written by Gary Chapman called The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, and they are:

• Physical Touch
• Quality Time
• Words of Affirmation
• Receiving Gifts
• Acts of Service

The idea is that everyone has a primary and secondary love language. In other words, everyone prefers to receive love in one or two ways. They also tend to express love in the way they prefer to receive it. This can cause communication problems, though, when couples "speak" their love differently. Chapman suggests, then, that people learn their partner's love language and express love accordingly; doing so will make communication better and the relationship stronger.

So. That brings me to these images I saw on Facebook. I think they're great:

(For me, words of affirmation are spot on. Just so spot. On. It's mind-boggling, actually. How did Chapman get it so right?!?)

Now, although Chapman has graduate degrees in anthropology and philosophy, there hasn't been much academic research on the Five Love Languages, so lots of people take his ideas with a grain of salt. I, for one, think he's onto something true and crazy important. I think if people learned (through observation and honest conversation) others' love languages, we'd all be happier. I also think this applies to more than just romantic relationships.* Being able to speak anyone's love language aids communication, and really, we should all try to express love to everyone we come across. A lot of problems in this world start from people not feeling loved. What if we changed that? What if we made people feel loved just by paying a little bit of attention to their language? I'm going to try, anyway; feel free to join me.

*Chapman himself seems to think so. He's written lots of other books about the Love Languages and how they apply to children, work situations, and military.

Thing I'm thankful for: well-prepared Sunday School lessons