Why I Left Google

I was supposed to write something funny for my next blog post, but I can't think of anything funny at the moment. So instead I'll talk about something that everyone seems to be asking me these days:

"Why did you leave Google?"

The question is usually paired with an incredulous tone, and I guess I can understand why. People are curious, and they want to know why on earth I would leave what is arguably the best company in world. But for my part, it's a tough question to answer. There's so much that went into the decision to leave Google, not the least of which was that I didn't know whether I had it in me to try to convert to full-time employment. (I was a contractor after all. With promise, mind you.)

But really, at the end of the day, I don't know why. I had specific reasons to stay and specific reasons to leave. I love California more than maybe any place ever (more, even, than Austin), but I was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. And here's what: When I flew to Salt Lake City for my job interview, I think I knew I would say yes—the way I knew I would choose to go to UT when I visited Austin for the first time. Or the way I knew I would win that writing contest my senior year of high school. It wasn't a divine prompting; it was just . . . fact. I didn't really pray about it because I didn't have to.

I still agonized over the decision, of course, but there was an idea—a subtle thought—that I would move. Not because I should and not because it was "Right," but just because.

I don't think I have a better answer than that. Not now, at least.

Thing I'm thankful for: agency. (Have I talked about that lately?) :)