Pretty Woman, or Why I Think Hollywood is Ridiculous

For some reason, I thought about Pretty Woman as I was riding MARTA home today. (Yes, I now ride Atlanta public transit.) Actually, I know the reason . . . I got on the train, and a woman who had extremely svelte calves sat next to me. I thought, "I wish I had longer, thinner legs." And then I thought about Julia Roberts' legs in "Pretty Woman." I remember a split-second in time when I thought about how wonderful it would be to look like her -- I'd get everything I wanted, right?

But then I started really thinking about that movie, and how even though I didn't look like Julia Roberts, I had better taste than to ever be in a movie like "Pretty Woman," if ever I was beautiful enough to be onscreen. I know, I know -- she was probably a poor, struggling actress. And I watched the movie, for goodness' sake. I was also a teenager when I watched the whole thing -- something that probably shouldn't have been allowed, but I think I probably sneaked it on TBS one Saturday afternoon or something.

I remember there are some hilarious lines, but reflecting on the plot now, I can see that there are some ridiculous ones. Let's consider just two things:

1. Edward (Richard Gere's character) gets mad when he assumes Vivian (Julia Roberts) is doing drugs in his bathroom. Really, she is just flossing, but until he found that out, he was not going to stand for drug abuse in his penthouse suite. Forget that he hired a prostitute. Supporting prostitution? Sure! Abusing drugs? No, sir!
2. At one point in their relationship, Vivian says she never kisses the men she sleeps with. Kisses, apparently, are much too personal; they really say something, you know? But sex is . . . well, just sex. Right? It's what began Edward and Vivian's relationship, but the kiss solidified it.

How backward is that?!? Again, I should never have seen this movie, but now that I have, I can tell you that a lot of Hollywood filmmakers are dumb. They completely twist relationships that have no basis in reality and persuade people to believe that true love is based on a kiss, an uncontrollable physical chemistry, or the stars lining up in the heavens at just the right moment. Sure, they're fun to watch sometimes, but they're highly problematic and extremely dangerous, especially for adolescent youth who are just learning about romantic relationships. This is not even to mention the nearly impossible standards of beauty actors and actresses set.

Here are some movies that I think portray love in a very good or nearly very good way:

• Dan in Real Life
• The Baxter
• Starter for 10
• Love Comes Softly (Yes -- yes, I actually listed it, Lexi and Lisa.)
• Love's Enduring Promise

Okay, I'm stopping there. You can finish the list. I know some of those movies have their own problems, but in their representations of love or relationships leading up to love, I think these movies are A-OK.


Thing I'm thankful for: quality sleep. And ovens that work.