A Belated Merry Christmas

It seems crazy to me to put Christmas up on the 26th of December. We spend the whole year waiting for the weather to cool. Waiting to listen to festive music. Waiting for a long holiday break. And then––we pack it up lock, stock, and barrel.

Me? I like to keep Christmas around until nearly Valentine's Day. Especially this year. This year, I felt like I didn't get to celebrate Christmas until the very end.

Remember this post? Well, you all came through with your fun family pictures and videos of your silly kids, and it made me laugh. Now I'll tell you the reason for needing a distraction and the reason for almost skipping Christmas.

That evening, I went to the emergency room for what an urgent care doctor thought was appendicitis. Turns out, it was an ovarian cyst that burst. But on the CT scan, the ER doctor found some other things, too:

• A kidney stone that may or may not pass on its own
• An abnormally-shaped uterus that may make having children difficult
• A tumor on my left adrenal gland and kidney that may be cancerous
• A possible tumor on my right kidney that may be cancerous

The three weeks leading up to Christmas were filled with doctor visits, CT scans, and getting blood drawn. The urologist made it clear that I'd need surgery on my left kidney, but maybe not on my right. He said that because of my age and the size of the left tumor, he was concerned it could be cancer.

"Cancer" is a word I never expected to hear from my doctor. Other people get cancer.

So I spent the better part of December in a daze, really. I didn't expect to visit Georgia for Christmas. I got flowers from work colleagues and well-wishes from others. And lots of hugs and "I'm sorrys."

And then. I went to my urologist the week before Christmas, and he said what looked like a complex cyst on my right kidney was just a cyst and the tumor on my left adrenal gland and kidney seemed to be benign. Still, the size of the tumor could be a problem, so we have to keep an eye on it. In six months, I go for another round of CT scans and blood work.

It all seems like a weird dream, and in some ways, I feel like a ticking time bomb. Part of me just wants this tumor out. Part of me wonders what changed so suddenly from one appointment to the next. Did he miss something? Do more scans need to be taken? Does something else need to be checked?

I don't know yet, and for now, I suppose that's okay. I'm trying not to worry until there's something to worry about.

Thing I'm thankful for: a guest room for me at MommyDaddy's, whenever I need it.