Tuesday, October 30, 2012


I think I've only had one really good dream in my whole life.  To be sure, it was an incredible dream; it even made it to my journal, it was so good.  It was extraordinary, though, and I mean that in the most literal sense.  Most of my dreams, you see, are actually what many people would call nightmares.  For example, last night, I was robbed for the fifth time this year.  Also, someone tried to kill me.

It's not new.  In fact, nightmares are the status quo for me.  They are so common that it seems odd not to call them dreams.  I've been chased by murderers in my home and at church; I've experienced the deaths of several people I love; and I've witnessed other traumatic events that I'll never talk about.  Some of them I can't even remember -- all I know is that I've woken up a couple of times in tears.  Sobs, in fact -- sobs so loud that I was afraid I woke my roommate, too.  And I couldn't stop crying for several minutes afterward.

I wonder if this is something that runs in families because my mom has nightmares, too.  Or maybe it's because I have high anxiety and don't get enough sleep.  Or maybe it's all three.  Whatever the case, I hope it doesn't last my whole life; I'm tired of running away from people with knives.  (It's always knives.)

Thing I'm thankful for: waking up in a safe place


Blogger cardlady said...

So sorry Chickadee that you have nightmares too. It is a common thing that you are trying to fix by running away from someone trying to get you.
If dad wakes me up before I finish my dream, I am more upset the next day.
Hope you get some rest and feel better. Love MOM

9:02 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I could get all Freudian and tell you what it means to be running from knives, but I won't. :)

Those really are all anxiety dreams, though. I know this sounds new-agey and junk, but practice some light stretches/yoga before you go to bed. It helps me sleep much deeper. I swear by it. Here's a good routine:


8:43 AM  

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