Monday, December 12, 2005

Holiday Single-dom

This blog seems to be turning into my rants and ravings of the single scene. And why not? I'm single. Most of the time, I try to be positive, but right now, it's time for a complaint. My complaint refers to, what I'd like to call, singles discrimination in holiday festivities.

Now, being single during the holidays has never really affected me until this year. Perhaps I'd never felt discriminated against because half of the children in my family were unmarried. Many of my friends were still unengaged or single, and I wasn't out of college yet.

But a lot of things have happened in the last year. My brother got married, leaving only my 25 year-old sister and me single; about 10 friends got married, and I graduated, of course. You might ask, "What does graduation have to do with anything?" A LOT. As soon as I graduated, I felt the stresses of adulthood looming over my head constantly -- including the stressful thought that "one of those things you do as an adult is get married." I realized that in 5 years of college, I only seriously dated 2 people. What happens when my dating pool becomes smaller? Because it does get smaller. Once you graduate from college, the number of young people your age surrounding you has decreased by about 10,000, depending on where you went to school. You get a "real" job and suddenly realize that nearly everyone you interact with on a daily basis is married. And most of those people have cute, adorable children who do such silly and sweet things that you find yourself wishing you had some kids, too. This inevitably leads to the reality of your situation, which is that you have no spouse to have children with.

And then the holidays come, and everyone throws a party. Work parties, family parties, and friends' parties. Of course the parties are fun! Of course the company is great! But -- what's this? The invitation says, "You and a guest"? "Oh no," you think. "Can I come up with a date who's willing to come to a work party with me in 2 weeks?" So you're once again reminded that you don't have a special person to share the joy of the holidays with (except your close friends and family, but those don't really count).

I think I know what you're thinking. "Oh, nobody cares that you're an odd man out!" It's sometimes frustrating. I want to say, "YOU don't care because you're married! But I CARE!"

Yes, this sounds depressing, but in all honesty, I'm not depressed. And I'm not "bitter." I know I won't be single for the rest of my life. And I also know that being married does NOT mean that all problems immediately go away. I'm also not saying that single people should wallow in their loneliness and become anti-social. But I AM asking any married person reading this post to remember what it's like to be single during holidays. When a single friend doesn't want to participate in an activity involving lots of couples, remember that it might be because it's not always fun to be alone in a group of married people. Also, if you're having a party, remember to invite lots of single friends, and encourage people to bring other friends, not just dates!

Thing I'm thankful for: Bedlifters.


Blogger Lauren said...

I hear ya. It's especially fun when your YOUNGER brother is cuddled up on the couch with his girlfriend/fiance everytime you walk in the door.

I guess we should be happy we're getting invited to the parties, though. Right?

3:08 PM  

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