Wednesday, January 05, 2022

Older and Wiser?

I didn't post about it then, but in October, I turned 40. I started writing this blog in my twenties––23, in fact. I look back at the posts from that time, and they were so funny and clever. I remember being smart at that age. Really smart. I think I can say that now because I'm saying it about a past version of myself––a version I no longer think I am.

I feel less intelligent now, less clever. Less able to articulate what I'm thinking and feeling. I can't figure out why, though. Aren't we supposed to get wiser as we get older? Sure, one could argue that knowledge and intelligence and wisdom are all slightly different things, and just because I'm less intelligent doesn't mean I'm not wise . . . Or one could argue that with more knowledge and understanding, one eventually comes to the realization that there's so much left to learn . . . Whatever the case, I feel . . . Less smart. I feel less certain about so many things.  I guess it could be a good and bad thing. I see the world as less black-and-white now, which can be good but also bad. I also find myself saying, "I don't know" more and more, which can be bad but also good . . .

Blech. I dunno what I'm saying . . . (See? Less articulate!) Although I am glad I'm still trying to figure things out. I'm also glad that I'm still writing on this here blog. Probably not a lot of you have stuck with me throughout the years, but if you have, thanks. :)

Here are some posts I'm particularly proud of:

Thing I'm thankful for: our sweet cat Coco, who likes to watch me type.


Blogger Dracoverde said...

It just sounds like your mind has opened to bigger questions, so in the midst of all that surrounds you, your thoughts sound smaller. The voice of past-you was sure, firm, and confident on a small stage in which little volume was needed to be heard. With all of your experiences and the people you've brought into your circle, and the bigger world you live in, if you were just as loud you'd drown out others voices and be ignoring everything in that world. You've always been a good listener, and now you have the room for more answers to come.

3:29 PM  
Anonymous Kevin said...

I thought this Twitter thread by Glen Weyl echoed your comments on seeing the world in shades of gray as you got older:

5:58 PM  

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