Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Why I Left Google

I was supposed to write something funny for my next blog post, but I can't think of anything funny at the moment. So instead I'll talk about something that everyone seems to be asking me these days:

"Why did you leave Google?"

The question is usually paired with an incredulous tone, and I guess I can understand why. People are curious, and they want to know why on earth I would leave what is arguably the best company in world. But for my part, it's a tough question to answer. There's so much that went into the decision to leave Google, not the least of which was that I didn't know whether I had it in me to try to convert to full-time employment. (I was a contractor after all. With promise, mind you.)

But really, at the end of the day, I don't know why. I had specific reasons to stay and specific reasons to leave. I love California more than maybe any place ever (more, even, than Austin), but I was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. And here's what: When I flew to Salt Lake City for my job interview, I think I knew I would say yes—the way I knew I would choose to go to UT when I visited Austin for the first time. Or the way I knew I would win that writing contest my senior year of high school. It wasn't a divine prompting; it was just . . . fact. I didn't really pray about it because I didn't have to.

I still agonized over the decision, of course, but there was an idea—a subtle thought—that I would move. Not because I should and not because it was "Right," but just because.

I don't think I have a better answer than that. Not now, at least.

Thing I'm thankful for: agency. (Have I talked about that lately?) :)


Blogger John Marriott said...

In my life I have found that some decisions are easy to make and hard to live with. Not that you necessarily regret having made the choice you did, but that the path you didn't take will always haunt your thoughts and dreams, even if you know in your heart you made the right choice. The path less taken may make all the difference, but the other path will remain a memory full of wonder and musing of what might have been.

6:49 AM  

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