tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-113837272024-03-27T00:38:07.543-06:00Busy NothingsRandom thoughts and links about anything from family, interesting news, movies, meditations, books, and whatever else I feel like writing.Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.comBlogger1122125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-82301970773961944202024-03-25T01:07:00.000-06:002024-03-25T01:07:28.354-06:00How to Know You're Dating a Potential Life PartnerSure, the title is not as exciting as "How to Know You're Dating the One," but I don't believe in "The One." I believe in "a one," as in one of a few possible life partners. And how do you know you're dating a one you can marry and be happy with? Well, here's how I knew, in a nutshell:<div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>You are compatible</b>.<br />You get along, work well together, and have overlapping hobbies and interests.</li><li><b>You can talk and talk and then talk more, and they like listening to you.<br /></b>Even if you're blathering on about your senior thesis on <i>Lord of the Flies</i>, they'll listen to you intently.</li><li><b>You feel at ease with them</b>.<br />Silence isn't uncomfortable, and making a mistake isn't the worst thing in the world. If you trip and fall, it's no big deal because you care about each other.</li><li><b>You look forward to seeing them</b>.<br />If you recently had an argument or spoke about something difficult, you'll still look forward to seeing them because it's important to you to work on your disagreements.</li><li><b>You are on the same page about finances</b>.<br />You might be afraid to talk about money, but you do it because you know financial arguments are one of the most common factors of divorce.</li><li><b>You are on the same page about intimacy</b>.<br />You've talked about what you will and won't do, how often you're comfortable with doing it, and whether there are any exceptions. If you can talk about intimacy frankly, then you can communicate about anything.</li><li><b>You are not embarrassed by them</b>.<br />You're not embarrassed by the jokes they tell or by what they say when you're with your friends and family. You can show up to a dinner party with this person, leave them alone while you get more refreshments, and know they won't say anything weird while you're gone.</li><li><b>You wouldn't mind raising a child with them</b>.<br />You like who they are, and you like their hobbies and interests. If there was a mini version of them in your life, you'd be fine with that; in fact, you'd probably love that.</li></ul><div>Hopefully you can infer from this list that I don't use "knew" in a mystical, spiritual sense. I use it in the literal sense. In other words, I knew I wanted to marry Daryl through observation and through information he directly gave me––either because he offered it or because I asked him questions. People often say they "just knew," as if knowing is ethereal or magical––it shouldn't be. You should be able to list exactly why you love someone and know they're compatible with you before you sign a marriage license or buy a house together. If you can't explain how you know someone is a good match for you, then I'm sorry to say it, but you are living in a world of make-believe (and not the good kind). If you can say with confidence the eight statements above, though, then you'll be alright.</div></div></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Thing I'm thankful for: thunderstorms</div>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-14077279504357144252023-12-03T21:43:00.000-07:002023-12-03T21:43:40.540-07:00Movie Review: White Christmas<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_XPM3O8VVIu7E8n-q5JMy7kpL4go5fecocXLVfxXpthveVZdvP4513ttcBrQFfc1c7Ce7Bm2Z_ykLefjX_5VkPAvZU5TzBHQPnw4wEXyOQ-809xfMWWKYvoxtc4fQuF7Td0Qmdk8DtDxbrNGj0E1QLWfdXkBL0eqMugKqeu68-qquW7_ROhwUWA/s1000/White-Christmas-square-poster.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="1000" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_XPM3O8VVIu7E8n-q5JMy7kpL4go5fecocXLVfxXpthveVZdvP4513ttcBrQFfc1c7Ce7Bm2Z_ykLefjX_5VkPAvZU5TzBHQPnw4wEXyOQ-809xfMWWKYvoxtc4fQuF7Td0Qmdk8DtDxbrNGj0E1QLWfdXkBL0eqMugKqeu68-qquW7_ROhwUWA/s320/White-Christmas-square-poster.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This might shock you, but I don't <i>love</i> <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Christmas_(film)" target="_blank">White Christmas</a>. Yes, I grew up watching it, and yes, I've seen it dozens of times. But I only like it. The music is great, the costume design is great, some of the dancing is great (That modern dance number is awful, though, am I right?), and the "Sisters" scenes are excellent––truly excellent.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I just can't get past the romantic plot, though. So many movies today center around a woman and man who fall in love, fight, and make up. The man, however, is almost always the one to apologize in the end, even if the women is the one who made the big mistake! I often wonder when that weird pattern started showing up in film, but I suspect it started with "White Christmas." Betty falls in love with Bob, eavesdrops on one of his private phone calls, misinterprets his conversation, and leaves Vermont in a huff. When she finally realizes the truth of his conversation, she rushes back to Vermont, performs the song-and-dance deal, gives Bob a present, and everything is fine again. We never see her explain her bad behavior to Bob, let alone offer him an apology.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">How is this okay? I'll wager that most Americans have problems with communication in their romantic relationships, and I'm pointing at least one finger to the modern rom-com, where this unhealthy and unreasonable pattern of miscommunication and non-apology by a female lead has exploded. Perhaps it's fun for female audiences to see this on screen, but it perpetuates the notion that women are the better halves and men are simply handsome buffoons. I don't like it.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So will I still watch "White Christmas?" Yes, if someone really wants to, but I'd rather watch a few other early- to mid-Twentieth Century movies first. Here's a list, if you're interested:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It%27s_a_Wonderful_Life" target="_blank">It's a Wonderful Life</a></li><li><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meet_Me_in_St._Louis" target="_blank">Meet Me in St. Louis</a></li><li><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miracle_on_34th_Street" target="_blank">Miracle on 34th Street</a></li><li><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Shop_Around_the_Corner" target="_blank">The Shop Around the Corner</a></li><li><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bishop%27s_Wife" target="_blank">The Bishop's Wife</a></li></ul><div>Bah! Humbug!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Thing I'm thankful for: good dinner rolls</div></div><br /><p></p>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-55153549480444959902023-10-31T00:06:00.001-06:002023-10-31T00:06:25.617-06:00What to Say to People When Things are Hard<p>Yesterday, we had a Sunday School lesson about mental health. I thought the lesson was pretty good, though I wished there was a licensed psychologist there who offered some general tips. Still, the bishop did an excellent job of opening up the topic and letting people know that mental health struggles are a normal part of life. One thing I particularly liked was his answer to the following question: "You talked about what <i>not</i> to do or say to people we know are struggling with mental health; what are some things we <i>should</i> do?" His answer? "Search Google for what to say to people struggling with mental health." It was brilliant, and here's why:</p><p></p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>He introduced the congregation to the topic but expected people to actually do some work on their own to learn more.</li><li>He encouraged people to simply search for answers on Google the way they would search for any other answer online. What a great use for technology!</li></ol><div>I have a friend whose parents both died within a couple years of each other; she was only in her 30s. I had no idea what to say to her, so I literally googled, "What should I say to someone whose parents have both died." There were some great ideas, and the best part about it was that I didn't put the onus on anyone else to let me know what I should say or how I should act around someone who was feeling low. I'm reminded of the following Latter-day Saint scripture in Doctrine and Covenants, section 58:</div><div><blockquote>For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward. Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; for the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. (verses 26–28)</blockquote><p>But since I'm on the topic and since I've experienced hard things, including depression, here are some ideas:</p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>"Gosh, I'm sorry to hear that; that really stinks."</li><li>"You don't have to text back right now, but I wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you."</li><li>[When a loved one has died] "Tell me about him." "What were your favorite things about her?" "Do you have a special memory of him?" "What was your dad's [or whoever's] name?"</li><li>"I know you've been going through some tough things lately. Do you want to talk about them, or do you want a distraction?"</li></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"></ul><p></p><div>Most importantly, I think a good rule of thumb is to simply treat people like they're human beings . . . because they are. When difficult things happen to people or you think their situation is pity-able, simply treat them as you would treat anyone else. They don't need to be coddled or chastised or shamed. They need you to treat them like they're a whole and beautiful person who happens to have some troubles. Here are some good conversation starters:</div><div></div><p></p><ul><li>"Tell me about yourself; what are your hobbies?"</li><li>"What have you been reading lately?"</li><li>"Have you been working on anything exciting these days? Tell me about it!"</li><li>"What's been the highlight of your week?"</li></ul><div>It's surprising how often people get tripped up over connections and basic human relationships, but I guess not everyone had a psychologist for a father or a chatty Cathy for a mother. This is why I'd be fully in support of "soft" skills classes in elementary, middle, and high school. I wonder whether they'll ever come a day . . .</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Thing I'm thankful for: walks on sunny Winter days</div><div><br /></div></div>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-78065358279107587042023-08-19T22:13:00.003-06:002023-08-19T22:13:37.450-06:00Let's Talk About TikTok, Part 2<p>Earlier this year, I posted <a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2023/03/lets-talk-about-tiktok.html" target="_blank">about TikTok</a>, but it was really just a post about the Internet, privacy, and security. This week, Pew Research Center published a report about similar topics: <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2023/08/17/what-americans-know-about-ai-cybersecurity-and-big-tech/" target="_blank">What Americans Know About AI, Cybersecurity, and Big Tech</a>. To find out what they knew, the Center surveyed 5,101 U.S. adults and asked them 9 main multiple-choice questions:</p><p></p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>As of April 2023, which of the following companies did Elon Musk run?</li><li>If a website uses cookies, it means the site can . . .</li><li>What is a "deepfake?"</li><li>In 2021, Facebook changed it's name to . . .</li><li>Which of the following passwords is the most secure?</li><li>How do large language models, such as ChatGPT, come up with answers to questions users submit?</li><li>Some websites and online services use a security process known as two-step or two-factor authentication. Which of the following images is an example of two-factor authentication?</li><li>Websites in the United States are prohibited from collecting data online from children under what age without a parent's consent?</li><li>Does the United States have a national privacy law that sets common standards for what companies can do with all data their products and services collect?</li></ol><div>Among the findings, these stood out to me:</div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Only 4% of respondents were able to answer all 9 questions correctly. The median answered only 5 correctly.</li><li>Less than half of the respondents correctly identified an example of two-factor authentication from a series of pictures.</li><li>Not a lot of respondents know much about artificial intelligence. Only 42% know what a deepfake is, and only 32% understand how ChatGPT works.</li><li>Not a lot of respondents know much about federal privacy laws. Less than a quarter answered Questions 8 and 9 correctly.</li></ul><div>With so much of our lives online, it's unsettling to see these results. I wonder, too, how policymakers would fare on such a survey––my guess is they'd do worse than the general public. And yet here we are in a world where Montana is the first of probably several states to ban an app. (See <a href="https://www.npr.org/2023/05/18/1176805559/montana-tiktok-ban" target="_blank">Montana Becomes the First State to Ban TikTok</a>.)</div><div><br /></div><div>What about you? Where do you think you'd fall? Take the quiz here: <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/quiz/digital-knowledge-quiz-2023/" target="_blank">Test Your Knowledge of Digital Topics</a>.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Things I'm thankful for: curiosity and reading and journalists</div><p></p>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-79244999477004601222023-08-08T23:23:00.005-06:002023-08-09T13:36:12.339-06:00Just Some Thoughts about Free Will<p>Even though "Barbie" and "Oppenheimer" recently came to theaters, I'm not going to write about them. I'm going to write about <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Adjustment_Bureau" target="_blank">The Adjustment Bureau</a>, which came out in 2009. I'd been thinking about it lately and decided to watch it again last night.</p><p>Well, I liked it as much now as I did the first time I saw it. I particularly liked the last scene, in which Matt Damon and Emily Blunt's characters exercise free will to be together. When talking to a member of The Adjustment Bureau, Matt Damon's character says, "Is this some sort of test?" The member responds:</p><p></p><blockquote>In a way. It's all a test––for everybody, even the members of The Adjustment Bureau. Most people live life on the path we set for them––too afraid to explore any other. But once in a while, people like you come along who knock down all the obstacles we put in your way––people who realize free will is a gift you'll never know how to use until you fight for it. I think that's the Chairman's real plan––that maybe one day, we won't write the plan, you will.</blockquote><p>I suppose I harp on about free will quite a bit,* but it's my favorite part about life––my favorite gift, as the Adjustment Bureau member put it. It's also a major part of Latter-day Saint theology. If we used "The Adjustment Bureau" as a metaphor for Christianity, Mormons would say that the Chairman is God, and his gift to us is free will. More importantly, we would tell you that free will is worth fighting for. It's literally the point of our bodily existence.</p><p>Regarding Mormons––and Christians in general––however, I have a pretty big bone to pick. Time and time again, they say people should pray to know God's will. They say they want to make the Right choice, or the choice God would have them make. They say, "This is what God wanted" or "This is part of God's plan for me." It's maddening because so often, there is no Right choice; there is no predetermined plan that God has laid out for each of us; and God largely stays out of our way, so we can exercise free will. What is the point in having free will, if we simply wait for God to tell us what to do?</p><p>When I think of God's will, I think of the two great commandments found in the Book of Matthew: to love the Lord [...] with all thy heart and to love thy neighbor as thyself (<a href="https://site.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt/matt/22?lang=eng&id=36-40&adobe_mc_ref=https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt/matt/22?lang=eng&id=36-40#36&adobe_mc_sdid=SDID=092552864D08872A-3980CDDDEE8182FE|MCORGID=66C5485451E56AAE0A490D45%40AdobeOrg|TS=1691556565#36" target="_blank">Matthew 22:36–40</a>). I think of the <a href="https://site.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics/ten-commandments?lang=eng&adobe_mc_ref=https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics/ten-commandments?lang=eng&adobe_mc_sdid=SDID=685769676795551C-293B72A04108F487|MCORGID=66C5485451E56AAE0A490D45%40AdobeOrg|TS=1691609748" target="_blank">Ten Commandments</a>, too. I think of all the ways Christ lived a good life. Those things––the two great commandments, the Ten Commandments, and Christ's example––are God's will for us. He simply wants us to live righteous lives. He does not want to make decisions for us or direct our lives to the tee. He wants us to make a myriad of decisions on our own and experience the consequences of living a mortal life––all while being kind and gentle with every living thing we come into contact with. That's it.</p><p>I love movies such as "The Adjustment Bureau" because they remind me what life is all about. They remind me that I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul (<a href="https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/51642/invictus" target="_blank">Invictus</a>, Henley).</p><p><br /></p><p>*See <a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2015/02/agency-is-very-best.html" target="_blank">Agency Is the Very Best</a>, <a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2016/05/omniscience.html" target="_blank">Omniscience</a>, <a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2015/03/timing.html" target="_blank">Timing</a>, <a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2020/02/trust-god-not-this-one.html" target="_blank">Trust God? Not This One!</a>, <a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2010/09/enochs-tears-and-gods-rainbow.html" target="_blank">Enoch's Tears and God's Rainbow</a>, <a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2015/06/when-god-makes-you-waithuh.html" target="_blank">When God Makes You Wait––Huh???</a>.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>Thing I'm thankful for: medicine</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p></p>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-25456518737213267112023-07-25T23:49:00.004-06:002023-07-25T23:49:43.703-06:00Happy Birthday, Dad!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP1L7URy0H-uMnGohZgRNq85UNax-AbFP2nuDyfsJvdvRJ8cVDXheFLS6hJ0R12yBJgw_fLVIRtYMyRqWDjRSP8pcIF3X_2gybkPDQ7j0MeQmibsgUrSIVNhjXYpO5GNtRVXZv9TwB-iiiS_DFZLxYy_Gj6G-c--dJWFSIm9qaUI53E9QaSCkgCw/s4032/dad_banks.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP1L7URy0H-uMnGohZgRNq85UNax-AbFP2nuDyfsJvdvRJ8cVDXheFLS6hJ0R12yBJgw_fLVIRtYMyRqWDjRSP8pcIF3X_2gybkPDQ7j0MeQmibsgUrSIVNhjXYpO5GNtRVXZv9TwB-iiiS_DFZLxYy_Gj6G-c--dJWFSIm9qaUI53E9QaSCkgCw/w300-h400/dad_banks.jpeg" width="300" /></a></div><br /><p>When he was 70, my dad started saying, "I think I'm going to die at 72, just like my dad." I'd roll my eyes and respond, "Dad, you're not going to die at 72. Grandpa smoked, and he wasn't as healthy as you." I figured dad was simply anxious as usual. He spent most of his life worrying. My mom even called him Chicken Little. After he unloaded his worries onto her, she'd say, "The sky is falling! The sky is falling!" She'd have a good laugh, and he'd be irritated, but I always thought, "Yep. That's dad. Just a ball of nerves!" And that's probably where I got my nervous nature. In fact, the most commonly-used phrase in my childhood was "I should've done [this]." I'd say it over and over and over to myself. "I should've done [this]. "I should've done [that]." I seriously could've used a regular dose of Xanax or Valium.</p><p>In like fashion, dad said, "I'm going to die when I'm 72," over and over and over again. After a while, I didn't pay much attention to it. "Oh, dad," I thought. But then he went to the hospital for a routine <a href="https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/treatment-tests-and-therapies/atrial-fibrillation-ablation#:~:text=Ablation%20is%20a%20procedure%20to,maintain%20a%20normal%20heart%20rhythm." target="_blank">ablation</a> and was never the same again. He had a severe stroke. He couldn't speak, swallow, move his hands in a coordinated fashion, or walk. He often didn't––or couldn't––open his eyes. He stayed alive with medicine and a feeding tube.</p><p>Almost two grueling years later, he died. He was 74. He had lived longer than his dad, but without a feeding tube, he most certainly wouldn't have. Besides, was he even really living those last two years? Could we call that living?</p><p>When I was a high school senior, my English teacher submitted me for the regional writing competition. On the morning of the competition, I woke up late and was in a terrible mood. Lexia and mom tried to hurry me along, and I grudgingly got ready. I don't even know why I was so mad that morning. Whatever the case, I missed the bus headed to the competition. My mom, dad, Lexi, and I pulled up to the high school just as the bus was pulling away. My mom suggested we all drive the hour to Rome, Georgia, where the competition was taking place. I couldn't believe dad and Lexi were both on board with the idea, but almost as soon as the suggestion was made, we were off.</p><p>We arrived just in time for me to write my essay. I chose to analyze the characters of The Lord of the Flies. When I finished, I left the auditorium with confidence. An odd thought popped into my head: "I just won that contest." I enjoyed the rest of the day. It was the first free day I'd had in a long time. I had a nice lunch with a friend, got to know a few new people, and generally relaxed. When it was announced that the scores were released, my friend wanted to rush to find out the results. I agreed, but I took my time to look at the board. "I know I won, so I don't need to see the results." And that's exactly what happened. I won.</p><p>I've often thought about that day. How did I know I would win? More importantly, why did it matter? Likewise, how did my dad know he was going to die at 72, and more importantly, why did it matter?</p><p>I think it mattered because it allowed him to relax to some degree. Sure, he worried about a few things he always worried about (He <i>really</i> needed some Xanax or Valium.), but I think he was able to wrap some things up in life that he wanted to. I think he developed a stronger love for my mom, and I think he learned to enjoy the present. He spent time with baby Banks, let himself take naps, and visited his brothers. He mentally prepared himself for the end of his life.</p><p>What a beautiful blessing––to know when your time is going to come. He had a Scrooge moment and could live life a little differently and perhaps more tranquilly.</p><p><br /></p><p>Thing I'm thankful for: the moments when dad's eyes were open, and we could see how big and blue they were</p>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-57598896968807228272023-07-16T22:51:00.002-06:002023-07-16T22:51:22.992-06:00The Brain is Not a Secondary Organ!<p>In Sunday School today, we studied the first few chapters of The Acts, and we spent several minutes on this verse:</p><blockquote><p>Now when they heard this, they were pricked in their heart, and said unto Peter and to the rest of the apostles, Men <i>and</i> brethren, what shall we do? (<a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt/acts/2?lang=eng" target="_blank">The Acts 2:37</a>)</p></blockquote><p>Someone made a comment about the importance of feeling the Spirit in your heart. In fact, he said it's <i>more</i> important to feel a prompting in your heart than to think it in your mind. The gist was that you can overthink or talk yourself out of something, but you can't deny a prick in your heart.</p><p>His comment took me back to my early twenties, when I doubted my ability to recognize spiritual promptings.* At that time, I thought God must speak to everyone in their heart. With a feeling. A burning in the bosom. A gut instinct. But I didn't have many of those, and I certainly hadn't had any since my childhood. Maybe one. Maybe.</p><p>What was I to do? Was there something wrong with me? Was I past feeling? Was my heart hardened against God? I knew it wasn't, but I didn't know why I didn't recognize or receive revelation the way so many other people seemed to. So I prayed and I read scripture and I studied books and the words of modern-day prophets. I kept coming back to <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/9?lang=eng" target="_blank">Doctrine and Covenants Chapter 9</a>, verse 8:</p><blockquote><p>But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.</p></blockquote><p>Before anything else, the Lord tells us that we must study. Thought goes hand-in-hand with feeling, and for my part, I actually think it is superior to what I feel in my heart. I suspect everyone is a bit different, but I also suspect that more often than not, people forget about the brain.</p><p>Let's look at Nephi, one of the greatest prophets in the Latter-day Saint canon. He is associated with everything good and right; his older brothers Laman and Lemuel are associated with almost everything bad and wrong. They complain, they ridicule, they physically abuse, and they attempt to kill their brother on multiple occasions. In any given Sunday School class, you'll hear that Nephi was simply better than his brothers. He listened to the Spirit and followed promptings more than his brothers. And you might walk away from class thinking that Nature was too strong in Laman and Lemuel. That at his core, Nephi was––to quote "Sleepless in Seattle"––"younger and purer and more in touch with cosmic forces."</p><p>This couldn't be further from the truth. In The Book of Mormon, we read that Nephi pored over The Bible. He asked questions of his father and of the Lord, and he pondered the answers. We know that he quoted scripture with ease and gave detailed accounts of Biblical peoples. And in addition to his knowledge of spiritual things, we can assume he had a vast knowledge of secular subjects as well. Daryl pointed out to me this afternoon that when Nephi was commanded to construct a ship, he asked, "Lord, whither shall I go that I may find ore to molten, that I may make tools to construct the ship after the manner which though hast shown unto me?" (<a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/bofm/1-ne/17?lang=eng" target="_blank">1 Nephi 17:9</a>) If the Lord commanded me to construct a ship, I would've needed him to show me <i>everything</i>, but Nephi didn't need that. He already knew how to get started.</p><p>The Spirit of the Lord can't work with nothing. That's why <i>we</i> are supposed to provide the materials. We do that by reading a LOT and by talking to others and listening to others and being knowledgeable about the world around us. We have to stuff our minds with all the knowledge available to us, so the Spirit has something to work with. There may be times when a prompting comes out of nowhere, but I suspect those promptings are few and far between.</p><p>Finally, I'll say this: I think it's nearly impossible to separate the head and the heart. Feelings are usually accompanied by thoughts and vice versa. In regard to revelation, this head-and-heart duo is particularly effective at leading us to action. To dismiss one and embrace the other is an imbalance that will keep us from progressing over time.</p><p><br /></p><p>Thing I'm thankful for: a husband to bounce ideas around with</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>*Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believe that God continues to reveal many great and important things to people, including the president of the Church and common individuals. We believe he speaks to us through the Holy Spirit.</p>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-3841254781915856382023-04-11T23:34:00.001-06:002023-04-11T23:43:50.105-06:00Work or Luck?<p>One of the reasons I finally started <a href="https://www.snowbakery.com/" target="_blank">Snow Bakery</a> was the confidence I gained from listening to the podcast <i>How I Built This</i>. Host Guy Raz spends each episode interviewing the founder or founders of wildly successful companies; my favorite episodes are <a href="https://www.npr.org/2017/08/15/534771839/spanx-sara-blakely" target="_blank">Spanx</a>, <a href="https://wondery.com/shows/how-i-built-this/episode/10386-chobani-hamdi-ulukaya/" target="_blank">Chobani</a>, and <a href="https://www.npr.org/2018/06/29/624713103/chicken-salad-chick-stacy-brown" target="_blank">Chicken Salad Chick</a>.</p><p>Each founder details problems they encountered along the way to building their businesses and how they solved those problems. They talk about the mistakes they've made and people who've helped them. Every story inspires me, and some stories bring me to tears. When I listen to the podcast, I'm constantly in awe of people's creativity and grit. I think, "This. This is what the world is for. It's for people to learn and grow and experience happiness and success and take an original idea to it's inevitable end."</p><p>There's just one uncomfortable point for me, though. At the conclusion of each episode, Raz asks the founder(s) one final question: "How much of your success do you attribute to hard work, and how much do you think it had to do with luck?" Now, I think I've listened to maybe 30 out of a couple hundred episodes, but so far, the majority of founders have answered "hard work." And I question them every single time. Of course I know how important work is at accomplishing goals and achieving success. I know that both goals and success require work. But "hard work" isn't an answer that sits well with me. Every time I hear that answer, I mull it over in my mind, and I wonder what I would say if I was ever interviewed by Guy Raz. If Snow Bakery was a huge success, and Guy Raz asked me whether it had more to do with hard work or luck, what would I say? What would I say?!?</p><p>Well, I finally decided. I would say it was luck. Again, work is a necessary ingredient to most fulfilling things in life, and it's certainly necessary to build a business. I cannot deny, however, the enormous luck that is being born into a white middle-class American family in the 1980s. Honestly, my luck could end there, and I'd still be better suited than most to start and run a bustling business. But my luck did not, in fact, end there. Here are just a handful of other lucky things in my life:</p><p></p><ul><li>Surviving my first two months. (I was born prematurely.)</li><li>Getting through grade school, college, and graduate school with relative ease. I didn't struggle with a learning disability, new material came fairly easily to me, and I learn well in a classroom.</li><li>Tangentially knowing someone who was able to pass my resume along to a hiring manager at Google.</li><li>Getting an email from a Qualtrics recruiter a mere two weeks before being laid off at a different Utah company.</li><li>Meeting someone who was financially stable enough to allow me to pursue a dream.</li></ul><div><br /></div><div>All of those things were lucky and without them, I would most definitely not be in the position I'm in today, even if I had worked more than anyone ever has in this world. The work of a hundred lifetimes would never amount to anything, were it not for luck. I suppose one could argue that the luck of a hundred lifetimes would never amount to anything, were it not for work, but from my perspective, luck is what kickstarts work. Luck takes precedence over work.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Thing I'm thankful for: besides every thing I listed above . . . painkillers.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><b>Note</b>: After discussing this post with Daryl, I think I need to say that while both work and luck are key to the most successful life, if pressed to choose just one, I would say luck.</div>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-78744078551033235592023-04-09T16:06:00.000-06:002023-04-09T16:06:15.742-06:00Be of Good CheerIn church this morning, someone spoke about cheer. He quoted John 16:33: "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." At that moment, it occurred to me that our sacrament meeting was a bit depressing. Several people talked about trials and tribulations, and the general tone of the service was somber and gloomy. The most positive parts were the hymns we sang as a congregation: <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/music/text/hymns/he-is-risen?lang=eng" target="_blank">He Is Risen!</a> and <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/music/text/hymns/christ-the-lord-is-risen-today?lang=eng" target="_blank">Christ the Lord Is Risen Today</a>.<div><br /></div><div>I came home thinking that Latter-day Saints could really use some of the energy of old Southern churches. I came home thinking that we should've been more cheerful. <i>I</i> should be more cheerful. I think it's natural to focus on the hardships of life, and sometimes it feels impossible to forget them. But today of all days should be one of glorious celebration. After all, I do cherish the belief that I am made clean through Christ, that I will be resurrected someday, and that I will see my dad again. What a wonder! What a gift!</div><div><br /></div><div>Happy Easter, everyone!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Thing I'm thankful for: a beautifully balmy day</div>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-6586434332190570722023-03-27T01:32:00.008-06:002023-03-27T20:08:25.915-06:00Let's Talk about TikTok<p>I seldom mention my time at Google because it was a mixed bag full of hard but meaningful work, a handful of lovely people, a couple of awful people, and lots of loneliness and isolation. It's time, though, for me to tell you about some of my work there.</p><p>I conducted user research for Google Search, and one of the specific teams I helped was the Privacy and Security Team. The team was interested in how people understood the data Google collected about them and how that data was being used. They were also interested in what users were doing to protect their Google accounts––in other words, how strong were their passwords? How often did they change their passwords? Where did they store their passwords? What kinds of information did they keep in Google apps, such as Gmail, Drive, and Sheets?</p><p>Well, folks, I'm here to tell you that people generally 1) have little to no understanding of what kind of data is collected about them and how it is used; and 2) are a security risk to themselves. Here are some specifics:</p><p></p><ol><li>Despite Google's best efforts, most of the users I talked to didn't understand what data was being collected about them. Google did––and I believe still does––try to be transparent and clear about data collection and what it's used for. It does this by displaying pop-ups with copy written in plain language. It does this by offering clear set-up screens and/or warnings. But many users neglect to read such pop-ups and set-up screens. Many users just hit the "Next" button without thinking twice. I would've thought that if privacy and security were as important to people as they claim, they'd read everything obsessively. And make no mistake: Every single user I talked to claimed that privacy and security was important to them.<br /><br />As for how data was used––again, people did not have a strong understanding. It was lost on them that their shared data was used for things like relevant search results, targeted ads, reminders, and calendar notifications. They had next to no understanding of how technology actually works; for them, calendar notifications were the stuff of magic.<br /><br />Additionally, people often said they used Google applications to store the most important data about themselves. They sometimes emailed credit card usernames and passwords to themselves. They stored important dates, account numbers, and passwords in basic spreadsheets that they either emailed to themselves or stored on a computer with a simple and easily accessible password.<br /><br /></li><li>Remember when I said that every single user I talked to claimed that privacy and security was important to them? Well, those same people told me about their password practices, and those practices were lackadaisical, to say the least. Some people said they kept their passwords written on a Post-it or notepad next to their desktop computer. Some people said they used the same password over and over for numerous sites and apps. And few people used two-factor authentication for sign-ins.<br /><br /></li></ol><div>The gist of what I'm saying is this: Individuals are their own worst enemies when it comes to data privacy and security––not nefarious organizations, not tech companies, not countries. Should we hold such groups accountable for breaches in data privacy and security? Absolutely. Should we outright ban an application or company (e.g., TikTok) simply because we don't understand how it works? No!</div><div><br /></div><div>This brings me to my final point, which is that most people––and especially government policymakers––don't have a working knowledge of the Internet. A content creator I follow on TikTok, @nickdrom, explains Internet ignorance this way:</div><div><br /></div><div><blockquote>"It's because of how good technology is that we don't really have to know how things work. I think that is a primary difference of the Internet today compared to how it was when I was a kid. Today you really don't have to have any idea about how the Internet works, what algorithms are, what AI really is, anything about coding or software to still be able to do a lot of stuff with technology. [...] This also gives people a false sense of understanding. Because they're familiar with these things, they think they understand them." (https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRvXSoS1/)</blockquote><blockquote></blockquote><blockquote></blockquote><blockquote></blockquote><p><br />So here we are in 2023, and the United States House Energy and Commerce Committee showered TikTok CEO Shou Chew last week with ludicrous questions and irrelevant statements that displayed their total ignorance about the app and the Internet in general. Among the questions were the following (my answers follow each question):</p><p></p><ul><li><b>Does TikTok access the home WiFi network?<br /></b>Yes, if the user accesses the Internet via WiFi. It's the same for any web application.<br /><br /></li><li><b>Is it possible that [TikTok] can access other devices on that home WiFi network?</b><br />The congressman didn't clarify what he meant here, but I'm assuming maybe he meant laptops or home virtual assistants? And the answer is a categorical no.<br /><br /></li><li><b>When am I gonna get paid for the data you're getting from my children and my grandchildren?</b><br />This question is nonsensical, but I'll try my best. The data that TikTok collects about its users (who are not just young people) include things like location, contacts, search history, in-app purchases, usage data, and browsing history. This data helps the TikTok software determine what kinds of videos you might like to see in the future. Also, you can essentially turn off some of this data collection if you want.<br /><br /></li><li><b>Can you say with 100% certainty that TikTok does not use the phone's camera to determine whether the content that elicits a pupil dilation should be amplified by the algorithm?<br /></b>TikTok does not collect body, face, or voice data to identify users, and I'm not aware of phone app technology that can assess pupil dilation and associate it with specific content.<br /><br /></li><li><b>Yes or no: As CEO of TikTok, why have you not directed your engineers to change the source code?</b><br />This congressman also didn't clarify what he meant by this question, so I hardly know how to answer, but generally speaking, CEOs do not concern themselves with the code that engineers write. A Chief Technology Officer or a Director of Engineering would, however, care about source code and maybe even write some code him- or herself.</li></ul>I can only assume that the knowledge of <a href="https://www.theweek.co.uk/news/technology/955812/undersea-cables-connect-world-subject-concern#:~:text=The%20%E2%80%9Cbackbone%E2%80%9D%20of%20the%20internet,cables%20crossing%20the%20sea%20floor." target="_blank">undersea cables</a> would make the members of this congressional committee explode. Heck, they probably think that the Internet is an ethereal substance that floats through the air. (Note: It is not. It is a world-wide system of computers that are connected mostly with cables that conduct electrical currents.) Yet these are the men and women who are creating and approving policies about Americans' Internet and technology usage.* It's embarrassing, and more than that, this kind of oversight violates our free market and arguably our First-Amendment rights.<p></p><p>I am all for social media apps being banned from government-issued devices, but banning TikTok from 150 million American users (That's half of the country's population!) is absurd. Data breaches and security risks are a part of our modern world. If the federal government wants to remove foreign threats posed by social media, then it should create legislation that includes all technology companies, not just one.**</p><p><br /></p><p>Thing I'm thankful for: dinners with friends</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>*The proposed bills associated with this topic are <a href="https://www.congress.gov/bill/117th-congress/senate-bill/1477" target="_blank">S. 1477 - DATA Act</a> and <a href="https://www.congress.gov/bill/118th-congress/senate-bill/686/text?s=1&r=15" target="_blank">S. 686 - RESTRICT Act</a>.</p><p>**I realize that because TikTok's parent company is based in China, people are afraid that China is using TikTok to spy on the United States, but there is no evidence of such clandestine activity. Besides, such fear is unfounded––remember that TikTok uses the data it collects to determine what kind of videos you might like to see in the future. It does not have access to other devices in your home or to information you don't share with it. It's worth noting here, that TikTok's CEO is from Singapore, not China, and he met his American wife while studying at Harvard Business School. He seems to have no personal ties and allegiance to China. It's also worth noting that after the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facebook%E2%80%93Cambridge_Analytica_data_scandal" target="_blank">Facebook-Cambridge Analytica data scandal</a>, Congress didn't pass a bill that effectively banned Americans from using Facebook. Because of this and because of the way the House Energy and Commerce Committee members treated TikTok CEO Shou Chew, I'm inclined to believe that the criticisms of TikTok are rooted in xenophobia, rather than a desire to truly protect the American public from breaches in data privacy and security. (To read more on that, see <a href="https://www.theverge.com/2023/3/24/23654831/tiktok-congressional-hearing-xenophobia-china" target="_blank">The Verge's article on the congressional hearing</a>.)</p></div>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-44016276402157190522023-01-13T11:05:00.002-07:002023-01-13T11:05:52.133-07:00Something Sad and Something Funny<p><a href="https://www.npr.org/2023/01/07/1147706326/gofundme-bogus-fundraising-sentence-3-years" target="_blank">A 30-something-year-old New Jersey woman who fraudulently collected money on GoFundMe was sentenced to three years in prison this week</a>. She and her then-boyfriend said they were collecting money for a homeless veteran, but despite raising more than $400,000, they didn't give any of it to the man. </p><p>It's a shocking and disappointing story, but it had a funny twist in our home this week. I was reading the article to Daryl, and after I got to this part: "They eventually determined that all of the money was spent by March 2018, with large chunks spent by McClure and D'Amico on a recreational vehicle, a BMW, and trips to casinos in Las Vegas and New Jersey," he said, "Yeah, I don’t know why on earth if you’re stealing that kind of money, you’d buy a BMW." Ha!</p><p>Ohmygoodness. I love that man.</p><p><br /></p><p>Thing I'm thankful for: a nice, warm house during winter</p>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-91362710786460200702022-08-03T14:31:00.002-06:002022-08-03T14:38:17.623-06:00Dad's Preparation<p>This post very much relates to yesterday's post, though I won't get into particulars. What I will say is that I think the most important lesson my dad taught me was how to prepare.</p><p>When I was in my twenties, I read articles about what to look for in relationships, romantic and friendly. I learned about red flags and personality traits that spelled disaster. One common sentiment went something like this: "Lying. I absolutely will not tolerate liars." Or "honesty is the most important quality in any relationship." I disagreed. I believed arrogance was the most egregious trait anyone could have and often insidiously dangerous.</p><p>I still <i>mostly</i> think that, but as I've learned to understand and appreciate nuance in my adulthood, I now believe that a lack––and even a disdain for––preparation goes hand-in-hand with arrogance. I'll share two anecdotes from my dad's life and one from mine to illustrate this:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Although many young men in The Church of Latter-day Saints serve a <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/callings/missionary?lang=eng" target="_blank">two-year mission</a>, my dad did not. He instead opted for the Marine Corps. Naturally athletic, he excelled in basic training, and he loved the predictability and comfort of routine. However, as men his age came home from their missions, speaking foreign languages and well-versed in scripture, my dad felt inadequate. He later admitted to me that he regretted not serving a mission, but he also did something that I think few men would do to make up for it: He studied. He read <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/bofm?lang=eng" target="_blank">The Book of Mormon</a> from cover to cover nine times. He did the same with the <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/dc-testament?lang=eng" target="_blank">Doctrine and Covenants</a> three times; the <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/pgp?lang=eng" target="_blank">Pearl of Great Price</a> two times; the <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt?lang=eng" target="_blank">New Testament</a> two times; and the <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/ot?lang=eng" target="_blank">Old Testament</a> one time. I've seen his large set of scriptures, and he used up every inch of blank space––the cover pages, the publisher's blank pages, and the title pages. In these spaces, he taped various copies of things: a small copy of sections of the <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/general-handbook/title-page?lang=eng" target="_blank">Church Handbook of Instructions</a>; the words to the civil marriage ceremony; excerpts from Church educational manuals; poems; and patriarchal blessings. He also wrote proverbs, quotes, and definitions that meant something to him, and they were nuggets of wisdom from Catholic saints, Supreme Court Justices, psychologists, poets, writers, presidents, and religious leaders. He highlighted many verses in Proverbs and made significant notes in Isaiah, Revelation, and Matthew. He wrote marginal notes about geography, exact times, sizes of ancient tools, and definitions of archaic words. He also wrote notes at the beginning of most Old Testament books that explained who authored the book, who the author's contemporaries were, and what the name of the book meant.<br /><br />You get the picture. My point is, though, that he knew how important learning was. He knew how important curiosity and education was. And he didn't say much unless he knew at least a bit about the topic at hand. Mostly he listened.<br /><br /></li><li>He probably hated it, but as a psychologist and university professor, my dad was often asked to give speeches at public events, such as graduations, professional conferences, and even trial courts. As a religious leader, too, he was required to give speeches to large congregations of churchgoers. His speeches were phenomenal. He knew his material so well that he could lengthen or shorten his speech as necessary, depending on the amount of time he needed to fill. One Saturday, I unintentionally overheard my dad practicing a speech in front of a bathroom mirror. He practiced it over and over and over again. I never said anything to my dad about it, but the next day, a woman at church walked over to me and said, "Your dad is so good at speaking! He just has a natural gift!" Perhaps he did, but I remember thinking, "He also prepares a lot!"<br /><br /></li><li>Not many years after graduating from college, I was talking about the university experience to an acquaintance of mine. I can't remember anything from the conversation except that we happened to be talking about studying, and I mentioned that I practically lived at my college library. He said casually, "I pride myself on the fact that I never once went to my college library." I know he meant to sound cool, but I remember walking away from that conversation being completely flabbergasted.<br /><br />I don't have many conversations about college anymore, but there does seem to be an epidemic in recent years of people priding themselves in not picking up a book, reading about current events, or consulting with reliable sources and experts. And people who have no business weighing in on a topic seem to be the loudest and the rudest.</li></ul><div>Even if you don't subscribe to Mormon philosophy, I think there's something from one of our books of scripture that applies to everyone in the world. It's found in the <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/doctrine-and-covenants-student-manual-2017/chapter-5-doctrine-and-covenants-6-8-9?lang=eng" target="_blank">Doctrine and Covenants, chapter 9, verses 7–8</a>. Oliver Cowdery, one of Joseph Smith's contemporaries, wants to translate ancient scripture but it turns out that he can't. The Lord tells him, "[...] You have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me. But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind [...]." The lesson here is that preparation is key to . . . well, to anything, really. In this context, preparation is key to translating ancient scripture through revelation, but I do think God's idea of preparation is broader. I think it extends to almost every facet of life: formal schooling, parenting, business success, physical success, and who knows what else.</div><div><br /></div><div>When I was young, I somehow thought that arrogance was simply a personality trait, like being introverted or extraverted. Then I figured it was a consequence of ingratitude and a lack of humility. Now, looking back at my life and my dad's example, I think arrogance is the result of not preparing. When we prepare, whether it's by reading, listening, exercising, or repeating a task over and over and over again, we learn how to be grateful and humble and deferential. And as a bonus, we end up increasing our knowledge and abilities.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Thing I'm thankful for: my dad teaching me how to fold socks</div><p></p>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-60375485249812343742022-08-02T17:29:00.007-06:002022-08-03T12:50:37.147-06:00Something to Say<p>For the last several months, I've wanted to write, but I don't quite know what to say. I have glimmers of ideas, but I just can't seem to get the words out. I used to publish a post once a week or so, and now, I think I'm at about 4 posts per year.</p><p>Why? I'm not really sure, but there are two things that have been especially difficult during the past year: 1) my dad's death, and 2) being a step mom. I can't seem to shake this sadness from myself. I have moments of lightness, but I'll see something that reminds me of my dad and grief flickers through my body. I'll see a mother surrounded by her biological children and wonder what that must feel like.</p><p>Life is so hard. It's beautiful and wonderful and bright and sparkling, and it's melancholy and sorrowful and dark and dull. I don't know how to express all of it at the same time, so I'll leave some recent musings here:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>I wish I could go to Dairy Queen with my dad and get him a raspberry Blizzard with chunks of Heath and Butterfinger.</li><li>When I was a child, I didn't understand how much my dad worked for my family; it must be hard for fathers to be absent during the day.</li><li>Fathers deserve as much respect as mothers do, and they deserve to have healthy relationships with their kids.</li><li>I'm a good parent.</li><li>Sometimes people say and do cluelessly hurtful things.</li><li>Sometimes people are really mean to people they don't even know.</li><li>Starting a food business is exciting and overwhelming and invigorating and scary.</li><li>Making friends is one of life's greatest joys.</li></ul><p></p><p></p><div><br /></div><div>That's all for now. I'll try to write more soon.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Thing I'm thankful for: chocolate milk</div><p></p>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-59982733170111548622022-01-05T01:23:00.002-07:002022-01-05T01:23:43.898-07:00Older and Wiser?<p>I didn't post about it then, but in October, I turned 40. I started writing this blog in my twenties––23, in fact. I look back at the posts from that time, and they were so funny and clever. I remember being smart at that age. Really smart. I think I can say that now because I'm saying it about a past version of myself––a version I no longer think I am.</p><p>I feel less intelligent now, less clever. Less able to articulate what I'm thinking and feeling. I can't figure out why, though. Aren't we supposed to get wiser as we get older? Sure, one could argue that knowledge and intelligence and wisdom are all slightly different things, and just because I'm less intelligent doesn't mean I'm not wise . . . Or one could argue that with more knowledge and understanding, one eventually comes to the realization that there's so much left to learn . . . Whatever the case, I feel . . . Less smart. I feel less certain about so many things. I guess it could be a good and bad thing. I see the world as less black-and-white now, which can be good but also bad. I also find myself saying, "I don't know" more and more, which can be bad but also good . . .</p><p>Blech. I dunno what I'm saying . . . (See? Less articulate!) Although I am glad I'm still trying to figure things out. I'm also glad that I'm still writing on this here blog. Probably not a lot of you have stuck with me throughout the years, but if you have, thanks. :)</p><p>Here are some posts I'm particularly proud of:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2005/07/macduffsnow-liquid-diet.html" target="_blank">The MacDuff/Snow Liquid Diet</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2005/07/oklahoma-ok.html" target="_blank">Oklahoma, OK!</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2006/01/super-news-revealed.html" target="_blank">Super News Revealed</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2006/03/if-you-cant-think-of-anything-to-say.html" target="_blank">If You Can't Think of Anything to Say, Give Compliments!</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2006/10/irish-twins-in-elementary-school.html" target="_blank">Irish Twins in Elementary School</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2006/11/my-free-associations.html" target="_blank">My Free Associations</a></li><li><a href="https://sawasnow.blogspot.com/search?q=gregor+samsa" target="_blank">Ah, the Sounds of Morning . . .</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2007/01/peeling-oranges.html" target="_blank">Peeling Oranges</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2010/12/my-siblings-or-i-cant-believe-i-know.html" target="_blank">My Siblings, or I can't Believe I Know These People!</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2010/08/good-bye-mommydaddy-and-good-bye-house.html" target="_blank">Goodbye, MommyDaddy and Goodbye, House</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2012/01/holding-hands.html" target="_blank">Holding Hands</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2014/11/tanya-russian.html" target="_blank">Tanya the Russian</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2015/01/some-thoughts.html" target="_blank">Some Thoughts</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2015/05/changing.html">Changing</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2015/06/when-god-makes-you-waithuh.html" target="_blank">When God Makes You Wait––Huh???</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2015/12/winter-wonderland.html" target="_blank">Winter Wonderland</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2016/02/uncertainty.html" target="_blank">Uncertainty</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2016/11/post-thanksgiving-confession.html" target="_blank">Post-Thanksgiving Confession</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2017/10/one-thing-everybody-wants.html" target="_blank">One Thing Everybody Wants</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2018/06/a-fathers-day-post.html" target="_blank">A Father's Day Post</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2018/12/christmas-wrapping.html" target="_blank">Christmas Wrapping</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2019/02/ask-yourself-what-can-i-learn-from-this.html" target="_blank">Ask Yourself, "What Can I Learn From This?"</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2019/11/thing-im-thankful-for.html" target="_blank">Thing I'm Thankful For</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2020/02/trust-god-not-this-one.html" target="_blank">Trust God? Not This One!</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2020/07/public-service-announcement-no-2.html" target="_blank">Public Service Announcement No. 2</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2020/11/it-takes-while-to-run-into-someone.html" target="_blank">It Takes a While to Run Into Someone Incredible</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2021/03/its-easy-to-be-duped.html" target="_blank">It's Easy to Be Duped</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2021/05/rachel-hollis-case-study-in.html" target="_blank">Rachel Hollis: A Case Study in Un-intentionality</a></li><li><a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2021/12/are-we-not-all-mothers.html" target="_blank">Are We Not All Mothers?</a></li></ul><div><br /></div><div>Thing I'm thankful for: our sweet cat Coco, who likes to watch me type.</div><p></p>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-76125316515571218592021-12-10T18:08:00.002-07:002021-12-10T23:16:25.144-07:00Are We Not All Mothers?<p>I didn't realize until today how long it had been since my last blog post, and all I can say is . . . It's been a rough 6 months. 2020 seems to be the year that everyone hates, but for me, it's 2021. My father died in August, I struggled to breathe with COVID in September, and my colon didn't work right for the latter half of the year. There are a myriad of other things, but those were––and are––the big hardships. Perhaps the hardest thing of all, though, was the thing that happened this week. It feels daunting to write about, but I feel compelled to, for my own catharsis and for a reckoning of sorts. In order to fully convey my feelings, I have to tell you about my niece Lily.</p><p>It was July 2nd, 2001. I was 19 years old and studying for a Biology II Lab test. My family had just gotten the news that my sister Summer was in labor with her first baby––the Brent and Cathy Snow Family's first next-generation bundle of joy. We were all so excited. Blake drove Lexia and me to the hospital, and we waited. And waited. We waited with our in-laws and talked and laughed until the wee hours of July 3rd. At some point (the time is hazy), Lily was born. She was a teeny, tiny thing with a long cone head. We all looked at her strangely and crossed our fingers that the cone would round out soon. Otherwise, she was as perfect as all babies are.</p><p>I laughed along as Lily had her first laugh. I watched as she took her first steps. I listened to her utter her first words and sentences. I helped my mom care for her during the day while my sister worked as a teacher. I rocked her to sleep. I taught her how to bake a cake. I decorated sugar cookies with her. We read together and played together. We freeze-danced and played hide-and-seek.</p><p>When I moved out of my parents' house and into my first apartment, Lily and her younger sister Macy would visit and we'd watch the <i>Care Bears</i> or <i>Lady and the Tramp</i>. I bought special cups that I only used when they came over. When I made the difficult decision to move away from everything I knew and attend graduate school in Texas, Lily was 10. I cried as I hugged her and Macy goodbye and drove to Austin to start a new life. I was sad to leave those little girlies––they were the closest things to my own children I had.</p><p>To my delightful surprise, Lily moved into mine and Daryl's basement this past Spring. She worked two jobs, but we found time to have long talks, try out new bakeries, and eat lunch together now and then. We explored some new places together and bought her first Christmas tree together. I taught her how to play with cats (She comes from a dog-loving family.), and we shared funny TikTok videos with each other. My stepchildren came to view her as sort of an older sister, and she often ate dinner or Universal Yums with us.</p><p>As is hopefully apparent, I love Lily. I love her with all my heart, might, and mind. I love her as though she were my own child. So when I took her to the hospital early Wednesday morning, I worried the way a parent would worry. When the ER doctor came into the room to tell us she had new onset Type 1 diabetes, my heart sank. When the angioplasty doctors wheeled her away to put a <a href="https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/picc-line/about/pac-20468748" target="_blank">picc line</a> into her arm, I went to the bathroom and cried harder than I have since my dad died. I was afraid I'd never see her again. I was scared her little, dehydrated body couldn't accept another poke, prod, and catheter. I didn't give birth to her, but I sobbed the way any parent would sob if they saw their child being wheeled away.</p><p>I did see her again. And I sat with her for hours while the nurses tried to get her rehydrated and back to normal. She's still not quite there yet––the <a href="https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/diabetic-ketoacidosis/symptoms-causes/syc-20371551#:~:text=Diabetic%20ketoacidosis%20is%20a%20serious,can't%20produce%20enough%20insulin." target="_blank">ketoacidosis</a> is severe, and to add insult to injury, she has pancreatitis as well. She is slowly improving, though, and most importantly, she's still with us. She'll have a tough transition in the coming weeks and months while she learns how to calculate the amount of insulin she needs to give herself each day, and she'll likely struggle with feelings of sadness or anger or frustration. But she's here, and I'm lucky that she was brave enough to wake me in the middle of the night to tell me she wasn't feeling right.</p><p>Something I'll never, ever forget about this week is the thought I had while I was sobbing in the hospital bathroom, and that is this: I am a mother. I am a mother, and I am a good one. I may not have given birth to anyone, but I have loved as a parent loves. I have mourned as a parent mourns. God knows I am worthy of being called a parent. The closeness I have with each of my nieces and nephews afforded me the opportunity to be a parent before I even became a step-parent, and I count that opportunity as a beautiful gift from a loving Heavenly Father.</p><p>Why am I saying this? Because I have often been told, "You don't understand a mother's love until you become a mother." "You'll learn when you have your own child someday." "That's not what moms do; <i>this</i> is what moms do." It's insulting, and it's untrue. I recently read a speech by Sheri Dew called <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2001/10/are-we-not-all-mothers?lang=eng" target="_blank">Are We Not All Mothers?</a> In it, she says, "Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve 'the mother of all living'—and they did so before she ever bore a child." That leads me to believe that motherhood is more than bearing children. At the very least, it should prompt Christians to ask, "What is motherhood?" To me, motherhood––or rather, parenthood––is love and tender care of someone in your stewardship. It can be experienced by anyone who cares for a child, whether that child is a niece or nephew, adopted daughter or son, or a foster child. It can be experienced by a godparent or just a regular person. It knows no bounds.</p><p>My hope is that you remember this definition of parenthood when you approach someone who has no biological children. Remember this definition as you think about your own children and how you treat them.</p><p><br /></p><p>Thing I'm thankful for: medical instrumentation</p><p><br /></p>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-58925878842864314272021-06-27T15:38:00.003-06:002021-06-27T15:38:54.037-06:00These United States<p>It's always seemed to me that the hip thing in travel is to travel abroad -- to go to places that none of your friends have been to and have a dalliance with someone who speaks another language and who is incredible-looking. And tan.</p><p>When I was young, though, my dad said something about how big and amazing the United States is. He told me there was so much of our own country to see and that most Americans will never see it all. I'm sure his perspective had something to do with the fact that he was scared of flying over the ocean, but also, I think my dad sort of . . . resented the fact that most people don't explore their own backyards, so to speak. "Resented" may be too strong a word, and maybe it was more like sadness. I think he was proud of America. Having been born on the heels of World War II and served in the Marine Corp in his twenties, he fits the bill of a proud American. But . . . He also has the personality of a man who understands that the most important travel is in the mind. Perhaps he knew he wasn't destined to do anything grand, and he knew that most people in this world aren't either. He knew that he could learn what he needed to learn through reading and being well-informed and that if he had the chance, he could at least explore his own country in small doses. As a result, he traveled to all 50 states over the course of his lifetime, and I think he loves the rolling plains of Oklahoma as much as he loves the mountains of Idaho. He loves that this country has a little bit of everything: beaches, forests, flatlands, desert, mountains, and valleys; small towns with mom-and-pop shops and big cities with sidewalks for miles. He definitely instilled a love of American geography in me, and I'm happy to say that at almost 40, I've visited about 75% of the states. (That's 11 more states than the last time I checked! See <a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2014/11/adventurous.html" target="_blank">Adventurous</a>.)</p><p>To be sure, I think international travel is great; I just like that my dad liked America and wanted to see all of it. I want to see all of it, too. It's a beautiful country.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRcSMb1yKAS_XTW0CkaO6Zfy0I4g8TyI8QPGAPIv124yEE1yR9hH6QVBeEFXjqwX6xnXbzuO7pRzWVyqmWKzYInSCMknGSyy9eMuChniXTQ5ddF2-_QxzF5m-EzXZ1poauymiY6w/s712/Screen+Shot+2021-06-26+at+6.40.32+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="478" data-original-width="712" height="269" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRcSMb1yKAS_XTW0CkaO6Zfy0I4g8TyI8QPGAPIv124yEE1yR9hH6QVBeEFXjqwX6xnXbzuO7pRzWVyqmWKzYInSCMknGSyy9eMuChniXTQ5ddF2-_QxzF5m-EzXZ1poauymiY6w/w400-h269/Screen+Shot+2021-06-26+at+6.40.32+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Thing I'm thankful for: my papa bear</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><p><br /></p>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-56410450208090308152021-05-25T18:51:00.002-06:002021-05-25T18:52:05.629-06:00Look-Alikes, Pt. 2<p>While I was at the dentist this afternoon, one of the hygienists said, "Weren't you my patient last week? You look just like Gwyneth Paltrow!"</p><p>Honestly, it was a nice compliment to get, since it's been a while. I mean, I've gained some weight this year (Thanks, COVID.), I don't have a nice golden tan anymore, and I haven't dyed my hair bright blonde since graduate school. AND I almost always wear my hair in a ponytail and/or bun.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="800" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_D6APDW5dXbGf8vVk2ybeKSgRDiVAsHaL68c3bxG8uvLe6alQSPaTzcc0pna3__vawQW6UiTvffGwxACtL7N7mo7Yk6cEJ8xS48it14uf19O_iBs445qWsX0oHCvTJW6j9ABX3A/s320/76359987.jpeg" width="320" /> <img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbONtIyRFtbbnrtHyTJqJJvZLZ2YTThyQFbFT1SYbDOcw2src9Lut8lsOugXSqilqp9hU9DzfDQvf3-VQHbx8Ns0LAVpNb7ZhrVbtVkCbO3uusMAKuJ927n7C9NBAbsXYsSzf_lA/w320-h240/PXL_20201013_180804677.jpg" width="320" /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Still, it was kinda cool to get that comparison. I'm still not sure what it is about us that is similar, but I'll take it! (Though she and I are rather different in our approaches to health, fitness, and alternative medicine, I don't mind looking like her.)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">(See <a href="http://sawasnow.blogspot.com/2006/07/look-alikes.html" target="_blank">Look-Alikes</a>.)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Thing I'm thankful for: a cool new husband by my side!</div>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-6889209680604578352021-05-25T17:26:00.004-06:002021-05-25T18:56:21.841-06:00Every Human Emotion<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvvlHtblrWGLJdq9PBainZLf6KSmMxxqyyEaSAZjpTIKEuU3wy0QPc4FD7yu4OLkbbojxBXu0kVUPBS4rIAVgckEsJ3qtLFcRXrJRzSAi8awdj_M7FPBEWjs60vEB6PTFDPyroiQ/s1000/81ecTjqI2lL.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="652" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvvlHtblrWGLJdq9PBainZLf6KSmMxxqyyEaSAZjpTIKEuU3wy0QPc4FD7yu4OLkbbojxBXu0kVUPBS4rIAVgckEsJ3qtLFcRXrJRzSAi8awdj_M7FPBEWjs60vEB6PTFDPyroiQ/s320/81ecTjqI2lL.jpeg" /></a></div><p>I'm nearly five years late, but in this case, late really is better than never. That is, I just started reading -- listening to, rather -- <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Born_a_Crime" target="_blank">Born A Crime</a>, the autobiography of Trevor Noah. I'm only into it by a couple of chapters, but it's one of the best nonfiction books I've read/listened to in . . . well, maybe my life. Noah had me crying and laughing at the same time. It's truly gut-wrenching content, but he adds just enough humor to let his words sit with you a while in wonder.</p><p>If you only read one chapter of one book this year, let it be the first chapter of this book. It's called "Run," and it'll make you feel every human emotion.</p><p>That is all.</p><p><br /></p><p>Thing I'm thankful for: comedians, who, incidentally, my dad once said were some of the most intelligent people on the planet. I quite agree.</p><p><br /></p>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-70800639931107717662021-05-01T16:48:00.003-06:002021-05-01T17:49:38.298-06:00Rachel Hollis: A Case Study in Un-intentionality<p>I know, I know -- you're probably thinking, "Who are you and what have you done with Sara?" In other words, WHY am I writing about an "influencer?" Well, I'll tell you why: 1) She has caused a small kerfuffle online, and I read about it in The NY Times (<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/11383727/7080063993110771766#">Girl, Wash Your Timeline</a>), and 2) Her brand (her personality?) have been directly at odds with mine recently.</p><p>So. What's all the fuss about? Well, in short, Rachel Hollis <a href="https://www.today.com/series/love-your-body/mom-flaunts-flab-stretch-marks-viral-bikini-photo-t10936">posted a photo on Instagram in 2015</a> that went viral. Since then, she has created Hollis Co., a lifestyle brand that sells products (e.g., journals, jewelry, water bottles, etc.), organizes inspirational conferences, and cheers women on by saying things like, "Girl, you got this." She has also written <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Rachel-Hollis/e/B00J237V5I?ref_=dbs_p_pbk_r00_abau_000000">three best-selling books </a>all about intentionality and confidence and believing in oneself. Her audience is largely white, middle class, Christian women, and they are devoted to her. After a series of missteps last year, however, and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CNQq8A-nUc8/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=embed_video_watch_again">one big misstep</a> about a month ago, several thousands are un-following her. They've started to question the person they've been following since 2018.</p><p>Well, here's what I think: They're right to question. I listened to <a href="https://player.fm/series/the-rachel-hollis-podcast-1458109/what-comes-next">her most recent podcast</a> on the topic, and I've gotta say . . . It smacks of arrogance, and quite frankly, it's filled with thoughtlessness and carelessness. Essentially, she said <a href="https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/11383727/7080063993110771766#">some derogatory things online</a>, and while trying to "own [her] mistakes" in this podcast, she instead shifted the blame:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>"I wish that I hadn't had to go through something like this. I wish I hadn't had to hurt people [. . .]"</li><li>"I'm appreciative of what God and the universe put in front of me to learn."</li><li>"When this thing happened to me [. . .]"</li></ul><div>Uh, what??? "Things" did not "happen" to her, nor did she "[have] to hurt people." The kicker for me, though, is when she hands everything over to "God and the universe." I'm so tired of people refusing accountability for their choices by handing everything over to "God" or "The Universe," and this is particularly egregious when that person is Rachel Hollis, who uses phrases such as "Be intentional," "Own your mistakes," and "Manifest your destiny."</div><div><br /></div><div>Someone I know recently texted, "I wasn't ever intending on doing [this thing], but I guess the universe had other plans." My first response was to roll my eyes, but my second response has . . . been building over the last year and a half or so. Talking about God or The Universe in such a way is seductive -- what better way is there to ignore accountability? To avoid guilt? To get a pass for bad behavior?</div><div><br /></div><div>Rachel Hollis's approach to an apology is a slap in the face to true intentional living; it's also an insidious message that says, "Here, let me teach you how to live an authentic life without actually taking accountability for my actions."</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Thing I'm thankful for: my parents. My honest, loving parents who taught me what a deliberate life looks like.</div><p></p>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-61806535211090693822021-04-14T15:47:00.003-06:002021-04-14T15:47:53.023-06:00Geometry!<p>I just did one of my most favorite things today: solved geometry problems. Specifically, I helped Akos with his geometry homework. It wasn't anything as fun as proofs, but it was still a little thrilling. I showed him how to find the volume of a triangular prism, and then we worked on solving a word problem with a rectangular prism. It was the highlight of my day.</p><p>I remember being in middle school and struggling with math. My older siblings would say, "Just wait until you get to proofs!" I suppose my expectations of difficulty were so high that they couldn't be reached, and it turns out that proofs were easy for me. (Either that or I am a genius at Euclidean geometry.) I'm pretty sure I even scored a 100% on the proofs test. I can brag about it now because it was the last time I scored perfectly in a math class. (Algebra II is my scholastic nemesis.)</p><p>At any rate, what I'm trying to say is . . . If your kid needs geometry help, send him or her my way! :)</p><p><br /></p><p>Thing I'm thankful for: good friends from long ago, especially those Emory-area folks. You know who you are. I love you.</p>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-211709684494371982021-03-07T16:52:00.002-07:002021-03-07T16:52:56.267-07:00It's Easy To Be Duped<p>I read this today on LinkedIn, of all places:</p><p></p><blockquote>"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." -- Aristotle</blockquote><p>It struck me for a few reasons:</p><p></p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>It seems true.</li><li>Aristotle said it, so it's probably true.</li><li>The wording doesn't sound like Aristotle, though. Would he really say "to be able to?" A better way to phrase this might be, "It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it."</li><li>Wait . . . I should probably use Google for this . . .</li></ol><div><br /></div><div>Sure enough, it seems to be inaccurate. Here's a blog post someone wrote about it: <a href="https://sententiaeantiquae.com/2018/09/22/nope-aristotle-did-not-say-it-is-the-mark-of-an-educated-mind-to-entertain-a-thought-without/" target="_blank">Nope, Aristotle Did Not Say, It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without . . .</a></div><div><br /></div><div>The gist of the post is that Aristotle said something about the "mark of educated people" in <i>Nicomachean Ethics</i>, but it wasn't the above quote. The crazy thing is that I have read <i>Nicomachean Ethics</i>! I read it in an intro to philosophy course during my first year of college, and I <i>still</i> was led astray. The person on LinkedIn who posted the quote seems to be a smart and well-read man, and with Aristotle's name at the end -- well, I figured it must be accurate. It's a good thing my Spidey sense kicked in (or my knowledge of grammar and ancient philosophers or something else entirely) because it would have been a little embarrassing if I had misattributed the quote as well.</div><div><br /></div><div>This tiny moment puzzles me, though . . .</div><div><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>Does it matter that this quote was misattributed? At the end of it all, perhaps what matters is the sentiment of the quote itself -- do I believe it?</li><li>It's so easy to be duped. Again, I've read the very work that this adage seems to be referencing, and I have a strong grasp of the English language. It still took me more than several minutes to finally use Google. How do we keep from being duped? Do we have to look <i>everything</i> up before we believe it? That would be a LOT of time and effort!</li></ol><div>I don't know the answer to these questions, so I put it to you, readers. What do you think?</div></div><div><br /></div><div>This might not seem like a big problem, but I would argue that it's the biggest problem plaguing the world today, especially America. It's hard to know what is true and what is false, especially when people can publish virtually anything they want to on the internet and especially when the country's public is, in my opinion, alarmingly partisan.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Thing I'm thankful for: Lily</div><p></p><p></p>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-52226546718075905232021-02-19T17:13:00.006-07:002021-02-19T17:21:26.645-07:00On Christian Support of QAnon<p>For several months, I've been mulling over -- and extremely concerned -- about the misinformation that abounds in the world today. I'm sure many of you have been concerned right along with me. As a Christian, however, and as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I'm particularly concerned with the misinformation that abounds in Christian churches throughout The United States. I fully realize that what I'm about to say will anger many people, but as I've considered writing this post, I've come to the conclusion that I want my family, friends, and associations to know where I stand. I want my posterity to know what I believe. I also want to write my thoughts down to solidify them and to . . . put them out in the universe. I dunno . . . I just feel impressed to share them.</p><p>I'll start by offering an insightful news story from NPR Morning Edition: <a href="https://www.npr.org/2021/02/19/969351648/new-survey-shows-3-in-5-white-evangelicals-say-joe-biden-wasnt-legitimately-elec" target="_blank">New Survey Shows 3 In 5 White Evangelicals Say Joe Biden Wasn't Legitimately Elected</a>. I heard the last half this morning as I was dropping the kids off at school. If you know me, you most likely know I don't support QAnon or Donald Trump, so it should come as no surprise that I would recommend this news story, but something about it was different. It struck me much more intensely than so many political articles have these days. It struck me because an evangelical pastor put into words so many of the things I've been pondering. The pastor is Jared Stacy, previously of Spotswood Baptist Church in Fredericksburg, Virginia. He spoke with Rachel Martin of NPR:</p><p></p><blockquote><p><b>MARTIN</b>: QAnon started to coalesce after [2016], amplifying false ideas about an evil liberal agenda and casting Donald Trump as their savior. Jared Stacy was afraid of what he saw taking root in his church.</p><p><b>STACY</b>: And so I was sitting there as a pastor saying, you know, OK, this is not just about pitting particular issues against each other anymore. This is about a wholesale view of reality, like, what is real? What is true?</p><p><b>MARTIN</b>: Did people you know in your own congregation, were they elevating the idea of sex trafficking of kids, even if it was overblown and being appropriated by QAnon?</p><p><b>STACY</b>: Yeah. Yeah. Sex trafficking, pedophilia, like, globalist or Democrat pedophilia, these are things that . . .</p></blockquote><p></p><p>He goes on to say that people are "being given a co-opted Jesus [. . . ,] a Jesus who believed in Q, a Jesus who believed in deep state, a Jesus who automatically voted Republican."</p><p>And that was the kicker for me. Because I agree with him. In countless associations, I can see that many protestant Christians and members of my church assume that Christ is a Republican -- that he has conferred truth and justice and power to Donald Trump, who is the savior of our country and the leader who will see us through the evil of the world around us. Quite frankly, it's sacrilegious. It flies in the face of the gospel of Christ. It's wrong.</p><p>It's also alarming. According to multiple national surveys (See <a href="http://Tennesean.com" target="_blank">Tennesean.com</a>, <a href="http://Ipsos.com" target="_blank">Ipsos.com</a>, and <a href="http://Newsweek.com" target="_blank">Newsweek.com</a>, and <a href="http://ReligionNews.com" target="_blank">ReligionNews.com</a>.), there is a sizable portion of Americans who believe in QAnon and by extension, believe that Donald Trump is the rightful president. It's not a fringe group, and it's not just the loner who is making it on his own in the plains of Oklahoma or the remote stretches of Montana. It's the smart, kind, and friendly folks we know and love. An American Enterprise Institute study showed that 27% of white evangelicals -- the most of any religious group -- believe in QAnon conspiracy theory.* How can this be? How can so many people supplant Jesus Christ with Donald Trump? What is going on here???**</p><p>I have some ideas, and I think they center around the myth that the world is full of evil people who are trying to overthrow Christian ideals. There's a definite Us vs. Them mentality . . . I'm still sorting it out in my mind. In the meantime, I wanted to let people know where I stand.</p><p><br /></p><p>*I wish I had data on Latter-day Saints. My hypothesis is that the percentage is about the same.</p><p>**For the record, I don't think every Trump supporter is also a QAnon follower, and I don't think every person who voted for Trump in 2020 is misinformed.</p><p><br /></p><p>Thing I'm thankful for: cats curled up on laps</p>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-12334221348605742942020-12-28T18:40:00.001-07:002020-12-28T18:40:29.025-07:00One Year Down<p>Yesterday marked mine and Daryl's first wedding anniversary! I woke up to a nice note and a fancy pair of earrings and then more notes hidden around our bedroom/bathroom. It was really sweet, and I just kept thinking how happy I am to have married such a thoughtful person.</p><p>Friends have asked me how the last year has been, and honestly, it's been great. I have zero complaints! All my expectations of marriage have been met, and as far as Daryl is concerned, they've been exceeded. It helps that we are both in our late 30s, have stable and well-paying jobs, and know what it's like to feel lonely. I think, though, that even if it weren't for those things, we'd still be pretty happy because he's so thoughtful and kind and affectionate and open. Also, we're very well-suited to each other, and since I'm a believer in the birds-of-a-feather-flock-together idea of love, I think our similarities bode very well for a lifetime of love.</p><p>My oldest step-son was saying something today about "following your heart," and I told him that wasn't always the best idea. (He was trying, at that particular moment, to annoy me.) Then he said, "But you followed your heart when you married dad, didn't you?"<br />"No, I didn't actually."<br />"You didn't?"<br />"Well, maybe a little bit, but 90% of my decision had more to do with following my head."</p><p>Our conversation ended at that, but it's true. Most of my decision to marry Daryl was based on my interactions with him and the indicators he implicitly gave me. I knew, for example, that he was a good employee and a smart one based on meetings we had both attended and work conversations I overheard. I knew that he was generous with his money and time, based on the gifts he gave his family and the group lunches he paid for. And I knew that he was a good parent because he talked often and fondly about his children. There were smaller indicators, too -- he listened to similar music, he asked me out on actual dates and always walked to my door (I've had men honk their car horns!), and gave me well-worded and detailed compliments. In several small ways, he always, always, always made me feel like I was worth spending time with. It seems obvious, but in my experience, that is the most common failure -- and best indicator at future behavior -- when it comes to healthy relationships.</p><p>There's so much more I could write about Daryl and how I made the decision to marry him, but for now, I'll simply say that it was the easiest decision I've ever made in life. My brain determined what my heart rarely does: that this is the way to go in life; this is a person you can create a great life with.</p><p><br /></p><p>Thing I'm thankful for: ganache truffles</p>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-79868192705515589162020-12-22T16:08:00.002-07:002020-12-22T16:12:33.115-07:00On Identity<p>I've been thinking lately about identity and why people identify themselves the way they do . . . And what I want to say is that I am glad I had the parents I did. AND I'm glad I attended the church I did. Let me explain:</p><p></p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li><b>My parents did all kinds of things</b>. I often saw my dad reading thick books in our library/study. He sat in there for hours reading and thinking. I also saw him sitting in his office at Oklahoma State University, surrounded by books that looked much heavier than the ones in our house. I saw him play basketball, saw him laugh with friends, heard him whistle golden oldies, watched him work in the yard, and went on walks with him. My mom often read, too, but she read in her cozy bed. While my dad read non-fiction prose, my mom read mysteries and thrillers. I heard her sew clothes and wedding dresses and watched as she built a successful greeting card company all by herself. I watched her apply make-up in the car and marveled at her ability to talk to anyone and everyone. I heard her whistle, too, but she preferred music of the 60s a bit more than the 50s hits my dad liked. She introduced my sister and me to Hollywood classics, and she treasured art from the Impressionists. She also liked science, and I remember saying goodbye to her at night, when she left to work at the hospital as a nurse's aid.<br /><br />Both my mom and dad had varied interests and by just being themselves and living their lives, they imbued in me a sense of wonder and curiosity about the world around me. I never thought of my mom as "just a mom." I thought of her as a mom, an artist, a performer, a business owner, and a woman who just . . . got things done. Similarly, I never thought of my dad as "just a dad." I thought of him as a dad, a speaker, an athlete, a psychologist, and a professor. They didn't have one identity; they had several. They didn't put their kids first; rather, they lived their lives and let their children come along for the ride. I didn't appreciate that until much later in life, when I realized that not all people have the advantage of having such fascinating parents. I rarely thought I couldn't do anything because I had parents who did nearly everything. My mom spoke up when she needed to. She knew when there was a problem with the car, and she knew how to talk to the mechanic behind the counter. My dad was the early-riser who made breakfast and waved us off to school each morning. Their sometimes "gender-bending" interests, can-do attitudes, and constant reading essentially gave me a blank slate. I never expected a book to be too hard and never assumed I couldn't do well at math or science. Perhaps more importantly, I never thought of myself as one thing. In my mind, I could be many things: a daughter, a good student, a scientist, a writer, a baker, and a great friend.<br /><br /></li><li><b>The first song I learned in church primary was <a href="https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/11383727/7986819270551558916#" target="_blank">"I Am a Child of God,"</a> not "I Am a Mormon."</b> Similarly, the heading in the first lesson of <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/preach-my-gospel-a-guide-to-missionary-service/lesson-1-the-message-of-the-restoration-of-the-gospel-of-jesus-christ?lang=eng" target="_blank">Preach My Gospel</a> (a missionary handbook) is "God is Our Loving Heavenly Father." Look up any Church manual, and I'll bet a hundred bucks that the first lesson is always about how we're children of God and He loves us. This may not seem like a big deal, but to me, it's a crucial distinction. Being "Mormon" or "Latter-day Saint" is just one small part of my many-sided identity, but really, at the heart of myself is just one thing: I am a child of God. Put simply, I am a person. That's it, really. I am a person and everyone else on this planet is a person, and we're all interested in lots of things. I guess in that way, I'm just a person who is a daughter, who likes to do well in school, who is interested in science and writing and baking and who likes to make and maintain friendships.<br /></li></ol><div><br /></div><div>Why does this matter, you ask? Especially now? And why did I feel the need to share it here? Truth be told, it was inspired by a friend's Facebook post I took issue with, but more than that, I suppose it matters to me now because the world seems a bit fractured at the moment. I wonder . . . Would we all do a little better, if we remembered that everyone else is just a person, too? Trying to make it in this world while holding on to the things they know and cherish? I think so.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Thing I'm thankful for: Post-it Notes. They really are one of the best inventions ever. :)</div><p></p>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11383727.post-6233166094516009542020-11-24T00:14:00.000-07:002020-11-24T00:14:02.709-07:00My Political Ideology<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I subscribed to NYT Cooking tonight so I could get my hands on a cranberry curd tart recipe, which I'm very excited about. After I entered my information and paid the subscription fee, I was asked to take a quick survey. There were questions about my age, gender, employment status, and reading habits. Then I got this question:</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhShEsSZTUymo4XzVURJzf7z_3gO2pgV_bmtfWF8lwdDeELMtUSoI2D7YlkRCMsPLPuA-3J5OK1NbQXtmIRgi1PVEfMCV3AHUmoC6MrIjXnloM3n9a1HjX7RBvoueftXwli2RPcwg/s1632/Screen+Shot+2020-11-23+at+11.11.52+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="770" data-original-width="1632" height="189" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhShEsSZTUymo4XzVURJzf7z_3gO2pgV_bmtfWF8lwdDeELMtUSoI2D7YlkRCMsPLPuA-3J5OK1NbQXtmIRgi1PVEfMCV3AHUmoC6MrIjXnloM3n9a1HjX7RBvoueftXwli2RPcwg/w400-h189/Screen+Shot+2020-11-23+at+11.11.52+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I didn't know what to click for my political ideology, so I asked Daryl. He immediately said, "Liberal." This led to a short discussion about our political perspectives and why he thinks we land where we do. I guess it took me a little by surprise. I've always said I was "moderate but a little left-leaning" because . . . If I'm honest, I kinda want to be moderate. But Daryl answered so quickly -- no hesitation at all. I wondered if that's how others see me, too.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It's just interesting -- thinking about how to label my political ideology and then about how people see me. My mom certainly thinks I'm liberal and that it's a product of my "liberal education in Austin." Ha! But in other places I've lived, I'd probably be labeled "conservative." Or would I? Maybe not anymore. I just don't know. It's something to think about, though.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Thing I'm thankful for: herbs and spices!</div><p></p>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18386565114862877592noreply@blogger.com0